How To Create A Daily Family Schedule
Having a daily family schedule is beneficial because it provides a structured environment which is critical especially for elementary age children. A daily schedule will communicate the family’s shared goals and will allow your child to contribute to his/her accomplishment.
How To Create A Daily Family Schedule
Enlarge Image
Having a daily family schedule is beneficial because it provides a structured environment which is critical especially for elementary age children.
A daily schedule will communicate the family’s shared goals and will allow your child to contribute to his/her accomplishment.
Here are some simple steps to help you create a daily schedule for your family.
1. Start by analyzing your day. Try doing a simple time study. Use a daily calendar and note what each family member is doing at each time of the day. Watch out for problem times and think about how to structure the schedule to eliminate problems (problems related to hunger, stress, behavior, disorganization, etc.)
2. Decide what your schedule goals are. Do you desire less confusion in the morning? How about homework completed by bedtime? Is having a clean home one of your goals? What about family play time, children in bed by a certain hour, or relaxation for you and your spouse? Be sure to balance family activities with family rest-this is very important. Take a honest look at both parent and child needs.
3. Write it down. Put the family schedule on a poster board and hang in a high traffic area for all to see. Let the family know you will now be following this schedule. Stand firm against opposition.
4. Follow the schedule for one week. Check it often and let it guide your days for one week. Have the children check the schedule and follow it. Ultimately you want the children to learn to take responsibility for their part of the schedule.
5. Schedule tweaking. Once you’re through the first week, check your schedule for what is working and what is not. Make the necessary changes and rewrite the schedule on a new poster board. Hang it back in it’s high traffic area spot for all to see. Continue to follow the family schedule until it comes naturally for your family.
Successful scheduling to you!
Natural Skin And Body Care
Natural Skin And Body Care For The Natural You
By Lisa Fraley
Published: 9/15/2006
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Blessing of Marriage: Tools For Training
The Blessing of Marriage: Tools For Training
By the Word of God, we have been exposed on how to have and raise godly children. I believe you have taken advantage of that teaching already. You shall not disappoint destiny. Today, I shall be discussing the topic, ‘Tools For Training’. There is the “how to” for every instruction in the Word of God. A discovery of the “how to” in child training will guarantee your rest over your children. Two vital tools for training Love and Control are what shall be discussed this week. These tools when properly utilized will produce a discipline that is lasting and that produces a good character in your children.
Love and Control work hand in hand as twin brothers. A child you do not love you cannot control and a child you have no control over you cannot claim to love. You need 100 percent of each for your children.
LOVE
When administering the instruments of discipline, remember that love is patient and kind. If you have to beat your children at all, do not beat them till injury occurs.
Love is very patient and kind…. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. (1 Cor. 13:4,6)
Do not allow discipline to degenerate to child abuse. Always let your children know that you love them and that your reason for disciplining them is because of your love for them. It is important for you to know that children are very sensitive, so if your actions and words do not portray that you love them, they will doubt it even if you say it. Therefore it becomes mandatory that you do these two things:
1.
Develop a relationship of mutual trust with your children. Let them know you trust them by admitting your mistakes when necessary and ask for their forgiveness, if need be. Never be too proud to say “I am sorry” to your children when you have made a mistake “…Do not irritate and provoke your children to anger…. But rear them tenderly in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4.” Encourage them to confide in you, just as you confide in them. Treat them as people and not as inferiors, this will help their self-image.
2.
Always demonstrate your love. The Lord Jesus who is our example demonstrated His love for the children when He rebuked His disciples for turning them back. “Let the children come to me ! Never send them away! For the kingdom of God belongs to men who have hearts as trusting as these little children’s. Lk. 18:16”. “Then he took the children into His arms and placed His hands on their heads and He blessed them. Mark 10:16”. This is an example of how to show love to your children. Take note of the following in the above scriptures: The Lord Jesus carried them and laid His hands on them. As a parent, learn to carry, hug and kiss your children. Touch your children, and let them touch you in return. The Lord Jesus is not an high priest that cannot be touched. (“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched… Hebrews 4:15”) Also He blessed them. Ensure that you compliment your children. Remember, your words are very powerful and your children will become what you say about them. A wise man once said, “A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child.” This means that if your children tore their jackets, it can be mended; but if you abuse or speak hard words to them, you bruise their hearts and the “tear” in their heart is much more difficult to amend than their torn jackets! So, be careful what you say to your children!
CONTROL
To control is to have authority and power in order to direct, manage or rule. Love without rule leads to destruction. This can be seen in the story of the sons of Eli. Your children are not supposed to control you. And just like Eli found out in 1 Samuel 2:22 & 29, “…Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?”. You cannot train your children if you cannot control them. No matter how you love your children, control is necessary; it is the stabilizer of love. This simply means if you cannot control them, then you cannot mould their character. When control is lacking, then the love you show them is no more the right kind of love. It is important for you to make them understand that there is a need for control in order to avoid excesses and destruction.
A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken walls. (Proverbs 25:28)
As soon as possible, teach your children that they will have authority over them in life, which they have to submit to. And the best way to display this is by example. As they see you submit to others, they will recognize that they too must submit to higher authorities. Make them understand that it is for their good (Romans 16:1-5).
Using Love and Control keep your children on the path of disciplined lives. That is because, children who are sure of their parents love, and are trained to obey authorities will find it easy to allow a loving God to control their lives. Both Love and Control go hand in hand; one cannot be effective without the other. Armed with these two spiritual tools, disciplined and godly children that you desire shall be raised to the glory of God, and they will in turn pass the baton to generations after them.
I pray that God will grant you grace to perform in Jesus mighty name. You shall not fail. Your children will remember you and call you blessed. It is well with you.Have you been born again? If your answer is no and you would want to be born again and to be called a child of God, say this prayer of faith:
Lord Jesus, I come to You today, wash me clean from my sin, make me a new creature. Thank You Jesus for writing my name in the book of life. Now, I know that I am born again. Amen!
Congratulations! You are now born again and a child of God.
By the Word of God, we have been exposed on how to have and raise godly children. I believe you have taken advantage of that teaching already. You shall not disappoint destiny. Today, I shall be discussing the topic, ‘Tools For Training’. There is the “how to” for every instruction in the Word of God. A discovery of the “how to” in child training will guarantee your rest over your children. Two vital tools for training Love and Control are what shall be discussed this week. These tools when properly utilized will produce a discipline that is lasting and that produces a good character in your children.
Love and Control work hand in hand as twin brothers. A child you do not love you cannot control and a child you have no control over you cannot claim to love. You need 100 percent of each for your children.
LOVE
When administering the instruments of discipline, remember that love is patient and kind. If you have to beat your children at all, do not beat them till injury occurs.
Love is very patient and kind…. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. (1 Cor. 13:4,6)
Do not allow discipline to degenerate to child abuse. Always let your children know that you love them and that your reason for disciplining them is because of your love for them. It is important for you to know that children are very sensitive, so if your actions and words do not portray that you love them, they will doubt it even if you say it. Therefore it becomes mandatory that you do these two things:
1.
Develop a relationship of mutual trust with your children. Let them know you trust them by admitting your mistakes when necessary and ask for their forgiveness, if need be. Never be too proud to say “I am sorry” to your children when you have made a mistake “…Do not irritate and provoke your children to anger…. But rear them tenderly in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4.” Encourage them to confide in you, just as you confide in them. Treat them as people and not as inferiors, this will help their self-image.
2.
Always demonstrate your love. The Lord Jesus who is our example demonstrated His love for the children when He rebuked His disciples for turning them back. “Let the children come to me ! Never send them away! For the kingdom of God belongs to men who have hearts as trusting as these little children’s. Lk. 18:16”. “Then he took the children into His arms and placed His hands on their heads and He blessed them. Mark 10:16”. This is an example of how to show love to your children. Take note of the following in the above scriptures: The Lord Jesus carried them and laid His hands on them. As a parent, learn to carry, hug and kiss your children. Touch your children, and let them touch you in return. The Lord Jesus is not an high priest that cannot be touched. (“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched… Hebrews 4:15”) Also He blessed them. Ensure that you compliment your children. Remember, your words are very powerful and your children will become what you say about them. A wise man once said, “A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child.” This means that if your children tore their jackets, it can be mended; but if you abuse or speak hard words to them, you bruise their hearts and the “tear” in their heart is much more difficult to amend than their torn jackets! So, be careful what you say to your children!
CONTROL
To control is to have authority and power in order to direct, manage or rule. Love without rule leads to destruction. This can be seen in the story of the sons of Eli. Your children are not supposed to control you. And just like Eli found out in 1 Samuel 2:22 & 29, “…Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?”. You cannot train your children if you cannot control them. No matter how you love your children, control is necessary; it is the stabilizer of love. This simply means if you cannot control them, then you cannot mould their character. When control is lacking, then the love you show them is no more the right kind of love. It is important for you to make them understand that there is a need for control in order to avoid excesses and destruction.
A man without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken walls. (Proverbs 25:28)
As soon as possible, teach your children that they will have authority over them in life, which they have to submit to. And the best way to display this is by example. As they see you submit to others, they will recognize that they too must submit to higher authorities. Make them understand that it is for their good (Romans 16:1-5).
Using Love and Control keep your children on the path of disciplined lives. That is because, children who are sure of their parents love, and are trained to obey authorities will find it easy to allow a loving God to control their lives. Both Love and Control go hand in hand; one cannot be effective without the other. Armed with these two spiritual tools, disciplined and godly children that you desire shall be raised to the glory of God, and they will in turn pass the baton to generations after them.
I pray that God will grant you grace to perform in Jesus mighty name. You shall not fail. Your children will remember you and call you blessed. It is well with you.Have you been born again? If your answer is no and you would want to be born again and to be called a child of God, say this prayer of faith:
Lord Jesus, I come to You today, wash me clean from my sin, make me a new creature. Thank You Jesus for writing my name in the book of life. Now, I know that I am born again. Amen!
Congratulations! You are now born again and a child of God.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Family Influences
Family Influences
Everybody has a family of some kind. Some are great. Some are challenging. It’s up to you how you accept their influences.
Each of us was born with a family of one type or another. If the family you got was loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. If the family you got was not loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. The designer of this universe would never be cruel enough to ask you to do something knowing you were not capable, so if you’ve got a load on your plate, it must be because you are capable of handling it.
Let’s talk family now. I have a concept of what family should be: these are the folks who know me, love me, accept me, are always supportive, applaud my successes, support me when I falter, adore my children, never criticize, look for ways to help me. Is that what your concept is? Now I wrote that sentence tongue in cheek because that is not what some families do. Many families are critical. Some are downright destructive.
What matters is what you do about the concept of family. Our initial relationship with our family is one of dependency. We are little kids and we are dependent on our parents for emotional, physical, spiritual and financial support. We need that. Unlike some of the wild critters, we are not born quite so self sufficient. We are not made to stand, walk, and nurse within hours of being born. We have families who help us to unfold the skills and strengths to eventually take care of ourselves.
Because of this early state of dependency, when we eventually strike out to assert our independency, our families take offense. They think we are not considerate or grateful for all they’ve done. They think they still have the vote for our lives and they are not shy at all about exercising their right to vote.
Developing a firm stand for ourselves as individuals with our families is one of life’s challenges. Each of us has a right to become who we think we should become, and no one has the right to interfere with that process. So they never do, right? Ha! You know they are in there meddling with that process frequently.
What to do? It’s an opportunity for you to exercise the strong voice of your own vote. In your life, your vote is the only one that counts. In your children’s life, you and your ex are the only ones who have a vote. If you’ve got a family who is highly skilled in sharing their opinion with you, you now have the opportunity to find your own words to get this message across "Thank you very much. I’ll be making the final decision." My virtual assistant told me that her father used to tell her "You listen to me and then you do as you damn well please." She always answered him "Yes, Dad, but I always consider what you say." It worked for her.
If you don’t see yourself as the end-of-the-road authority in your life, I suspect it is time for you to strengthen that role. Like an actor, study the dialog, practice in front of a mirror, have a friend read the lines with you. Do whatever it takes to get comfortable in this role before you have a chance to use your skills real time. When real time happens, you’ll be ready. Oh the first few times that you assert yourself, your listeners will more than likely be shocked. You’ve changed the pattern! You’re no longer their pawn. You’re becoming your own person. That is one of the gifts from divorce: you get to unfold a whole new sense about your Self and it’s always an improved model.
So be grateful that your family is there, running you through your paces. You are the authority in your life and the lives of your children. Your family had the opportunity to exercise this authority when they were the parents, and now it’s your turn to be l supportive as you see it. Keep firm convictions about the new role you are assuming. Be loving. Listen with attention. Know you’re capable And then do as you damn well please.
By Len Stauffenger
Published: 5/30/2008
Everybody has a family of some kind. Some are great. Some are challenging. It’s up to you how you accept their influences.
Each of us was born with a family of one type or another. If the family you got was loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. If the family you got was not loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. The designer of this universe would never be cruel enough to ask you to do something knowing you were not capable, so if you’ve got a load on your plate, it must be because you are capable of handling it.
Let’s talk family now. I have a concept of what family should be: these are the folks who know me, love me, accept me, are always supportive, applaud my successes, support me when I falter, adore my children, never criticize, look for ways to help me. Is that what your concept is? Now I wrote that sentence tongue in cheek because that is not what some families do. Many families are critical. Some are downright destructive.
What matters is what you do about the concept of family. Our initial relationship with our family is one of dependency. We are little kids and we are dependent on our parents for emotional, physical, spiritual and financial support. We need that. Unlike some of the wild critters, we are not born quite so self sufficient. We are not made to stand, walk, and nurse within hours of being born. We have families who help us to unfold the skills and strengths to eventually take care of ourselves.
Because of this early state of dependency, when we eventually strike out to assert our independency, our families take offense. They think we are not considerate or grateful for all they’ve done. They think they still have the vote for our lives and they are not shy at all about exercising their right to vote.
Developing a firm stand for ourselves as individuals with our families is one of life’s challenges. Each of us has a right to become who we think we should become, and no one has the right to interfere with that process. So they never do, right? Ha! You know they are in there meddling with that process frequently.
What to do? It’s an opportunity for you to exercise the strong voice of your own vote. In your life, your vote is the only one that counts. In your children’s life, you and your ex are the only ones who have a vote. If you’ve got a family who is highly skilled in sharing their opinion with you, you now have the opportunity to find your own words to get this message across "Thank you very much. I’ll be making the final decision." My virtual assistant told me that her father used to tell her "You listen to me and then you do as you damn well please." She always answered him "Yes, Dad, but I always consider what you say." It worked for her.
If you don’t see yourself as the end-of-the-road authority in your life, I suspect it is time for you to strengthen that role. Like an actor, study the dialog, practice in front of a mirror, have a friend read the lines with you. Do whatever it takes to get comfortable in this role before you have a chance to use your skills real time. When real time happens, you’ll be ready. Oh the first few times that you assert yourself, your listeners will more than likely be shocked. You’ve changed the pattern! You’re no longer their pawn. You’re becoming your own person. That is one of the gifts from divorce: you get to unfold a whole new sense about your Self and it’s always an improved model.
So be grateful that your family is there, running you through your paces. You are the authority in your life and the lives of your children. Your family had the opportunity to exercise this authority when they were the parents, and now it’s your turn to be l supportive as you see it. Keep firm convictions about the new role you are assuming. Be loving. Listen with attention. Know you’re capable And then do as you damn well please.
By Len Stauffenger
Published: 5/30/2008
Saturday, March 28, 2009
How To Handle The Effects of Divorce on Children
How To Handle The Effects of Divorce on Children
Divorce is never really a pleasant experience, but considering whether to stay together just for the children's sake can often be a mistake. It largely depends on the relationship you have as a family, but if you decide to divorce, there are several things you can do to minimize the impact on your kids.
Should you stay together for the children when things go wrong in a marriage? Actually, divorce may be the better option for them in the long run. Living with a tense atmosphere and maybe even the odd slamming door and shouting match can do more harm than the parents' separation. Even without these signs children can sense when things aren't quite right.
During divorce proceedings try to make sure the children know what is going on. Explain it in terms they can understand. They need to know how they will be affected and reassured that you will do your best to keep their lives as unchanged as possible. Try to avoid a situation where they will have to leave their school and friends at the same time as seeing their parents separate.
Many children will wonder if they are to blame somehow. It must be affirmed over and again that this is not their fault by both parents before it will sink in. In fact apportioning blame to anyone in front of the children is not a good idea even if it's quite obvious what lead to the troubles.
Then they have the agony of wondering if they should be taking one parent's side over the other. It's best not to use your children as a confidant during this emotional time regardless of how mature they may seem. They should be allowed to carry on loving each parent as they did before without the knowledge of what one did or said to the other. You can do your crying on the shoulder of an understanding adult friend.
Schools and other organisations that the children attend can help keep you informed about any changes in their behaviour and can be a great source of information on how the children are coping with the changes. They may feel the need to hide their emotions at home as you seem to have enough on your plate. Keep the teachers up to date with what is going on in their family lives. There is no shame in divorce these days - around 1 in 3 children will go through their parents' separation.
There will always be the situation where one parent is not prepared to play along with the best practices. The one that does put down the other parent in front of the children, doesn't turn up when they're expected or won't let the children visit with the other parent. It's best not to 'play them at their own game'. An announcement of 'See I told you daddy's a bastard/mummy's a bitch!' is perhaps not the best way to go.
Rarely is shared custody awarded to parents these days so there will be just the one principle carer. Children need to know, however, that both parents still want to be a part of their lives. For the person who does not have principle care it is important that your children know your home is theirs too. Make a space fro their belongings to stay for when they visit.
Eventually one or both parents will enter a new relationship. This, too, can be an unsettling experience for the children, especially if the introduction is handled in the wrong way. It is often less stressful to introduce a new partner as a friend at first and to make sure that any intimate moments take place away from their eyes and ears. This way the children can form a good relationship with this person and be happy when they find out that the association is rather more than 'just friends'.
As far ash the children are concerned, even once divorce has taken place, mum, dad and kids are still family. This means they will want both parents involved in the important events in their lives. Try to help each other and work together in getting both of you to the school play or graduation day. You may have ended your marriage but your partnership in bringing up your children in the best way possible must continue.
Managing the effects of divorce on children
By Mike Spencer
Published: 8/4/2007
Divorce is never really a pleasant experience, but considering whether to stay together just for the children's sake can often be a mistake. It largely depends on the relationship you have as a family, but if you decide to divorce, there are several things you can do to minimize the impact on your kids.
Should you stay together for the children when things go wrong in a marriage? Actually, divorce may be the better option for them in the long run. Living with a tense atmosphere and maybe even the odd slamming door and shouting match can do more harm than the parents' separation. Even without these signs children can sense when things aren't quite right.
During divorce proceedings try to make sure the children know what is going on. Explain it in terms they can understand. They need to know how they will be affected and reassured that you will do your best to keep their lives as unchanged as possible. Try to avoid a situation where they will have to leave their school and friends at the same time as seeing their parents separate.
Many children will wonder if they are to blame somehow. It must be affirmed over and again that this is not their fault by both parents before it will sink in. In fact apportioning blame to anyone in front of the children is not a good idea even if it's quite obvious what lead to the troubles.
Then they have the agony of wondering if they should be taking one parent's side over the other. It's best not to use your children as a confidant during this emotional time regardless of how mature they may seem. They should be allowed to carry on loving each parent as they did before without the knowledge of what one did or said to the other. You can do your crying on the shoulder of an understanding adult friend.
Schools and other organisations that the children attend can help keep you informed about any changes in their behaviour and can be a great source of information on how the children are coping with the changes. They may feel the need to hide their emotions at home as you seem to have enough on your plate. Keep the teachers up to date with what is going on in their family lives. There is no shame in divorce these days - around 1 in 3 children will go through their parents' separation.
There will always be the situation where one parent is not prepared to play along with the best practices. The one that does put down the other parent in front of the children, doesn't turn up when they're expected or won't let the children visit with the other parent. It's best not to 'play them at their own game'. An announcement of 'See I told you daddy's a bastard/mummy's a bitch!' is perhaps not the best way to go.
Rarely is shared custody awarded to parents these days so there will be just the one principle carer. Children need to know, however, that both parents still want to be a part of their lives. For the person who does not have principle care it is important that your children know your home is theirs too. Make a space fro their belongings to stay for when they visit.
Eventually one or both parents will enter a new relationship. This, too, can be an unsettling experience for the children, especially if the introduction is handled in the wrong way. It is often less stressful to introduce a new partner as a friend at first and to make sure that any intimate moments take place away from their eyes and ears. This way the children can form a good relationship with this person and be happy when they find out that the association is rather more than 'just friends'.
As far ash the children are concerned, even once divorce has taken place, mum, dad and kids are still family. This means they will want both parents involved in the important events in their lives. Try to help each other and work together in getting both of you to the school play or graduation day. You may have ended your marriage but your partnership in bringing up your children in the best way possible must continue.
Managing the effects of divorce on children
By Mike Spencer
Published: 8/4/2007
Friday, March 27, 2009
Improving Your Relationship With Your Child
Improving Your Relationship With Your Child
What is your relationship with your child like? Could it use a bit of improving?
Improving Your Relationship With Your Child
Enlarge Image
In this issue I want to share with you something that can help you improve your relationship with your child. Have you ever come home after work and seen your child disheartened? What can you do to help? You are not sure. Well take heart ! I know that you can easily solve this situation.
First greet your kid and say, "Hey what’s brewing ?"Talk to your child find out what is their problem and what is causing their grief. Be their friend. Be sympathetic. LISTEN until your child finishes talking. Don’t judge, just work on helping solve your child’s problem. Be as positive as you can. Most huge problems are like, my friends won’t talk to me because I beat them in the spellathon.
Relate your own childhood experiences but don’t try to out do your child.
Start by saying I have experienced this problem and it is not easy to solve.
You see everybody wants to feel important. Your friends probably feel that they
should be better than you. But you won the spellathon and that is a wonderful achievement. I am proud of you. If your friends can’t accept you because you are smart and intelligent. Then it is time that you found some cool friends who accept you for who you are.
Back up and support you child. You will see a special bond forming, tell your child that you are there for them and that you will help where you can. The problems that your child faces may seem small to you but to them they are huge. So be gentle and understanding of your child’s issues.
Relationship problems can cause disappointment, and low self esteem. All children need to be LOVED . They require it and they have to be shown that by their parents.
As it has been said LOVE to children is the TIME that you spend with them. The more time that spend with your child, the more they will think that you love them.
Make it a special time with your child. It does not have to be anywhere special because you make it special for your child. You show that you care by making a specific time that you always share with your child each and everyday. Enjoy the company of your family especially your children, for they get older and grow up and sometimes move away and then you will miss them.
The time that you spend with your child is priceless. Don’t lose it ! This will improve the relationship and the rapport that you have with your child. The joy that comes into your lives cannot be measured .The memories from these times can only be savored once in a lifetime. Make it your lifetime !
Your lives will improve and be enriched. Keep working at it and not give up. In all instances be positive and be encouraging .Time is a precious commodity. Use it wisely.
The benefits of these actions for you and your child will be that you will have a rapport between you, a great parent/child relationship, and awesome trust between you.
Something that money cannot buy! Real LOVE .
P.S. Do you have family or friends who would also be interested in Learning? Send them to http://www.parent-child-help.com
What is your relationship with your child like? Could it use a bit of improving?
Improving Your Relationship With Your Child
Enlarge Image
In this issue I want to share with you something that can help you improve your relationship with your child. Have you ever come home after work and seen your child disheartened? What can you do to help? You are not sure. Well take heart ! I know that you can easily solve this situation.
First greet your kid and say, "Hey what’s brewing ?"Talk to your child find out what is their problem and what is causing their grief. Be their friend. Be sympathetic. LISTEN until your child finishes talking. Don’t judge, just work on helping solve your child’s problem. Be as positive as you can. Most huge problems are like, my friends won’t talk to me because I beat them in the spellathon.
Relate your own childhood experiences but don’t try to out do your child.
Start by saying I have experienced this problem and it is not easy to solve.
You see everybody wants to feel important. Your friends probably feel that they
should be better than you. But you won the spellathon and that is a wonderful achievement. I am proud of you. If your friends can’t accept you because you are smart and intelligent. Then it is time that you found some cool friends who accept you for who you are.
Back up and support you child. You will see a special bond forming, tell your child that you are there for them and that you will help where you can. The problems that your child faces may seem small to you but to them they are huge. So be gentle and understanding of your child’s issues.
Relationship problems can cause disappointment, and low self esteem. All children need to be LOVED . They require it and they have to be shown that by their parents.
As it has been said LOVE to children is the TIME that you spend with them. The more time that spend with your child, the more they will think that you love them.
Make it a special time with your child. It does not have to be anywhere special because you make it special for your child. You show that you care by making a specific time that you always share with your child each and everyday. Enjoy the company of your family especially your children, for they get older and grow up and sometimes move away and then you will miss them.
The time that you spend with your child is priceless. Don’t lose it ! This will improve the relationship and the rapport that you have with your child. The joy that comes into your lives cannot be measured .The memories from these times can only be savored once in a lifetime. Make it your lifetime !
Your lives will improve and be enriched. Keep working at it and not give up. In all instances be positive and be encouraging .Time is a precious commodity. Use it wisely.
The benefits of these actions for you and your child will be that you will have a rapport between you, a great parent/child relationship, and awesome trust between you.
Something that money cannot buy! Real LOVE .
P.S. Do you have family or friends who would also be interested in Learning? Send them to http://www.parent-child-help.com
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Blessing of Marriage: Be Fruitful
The Blessing of Marriage: Be Fruitful
Today, I shall be teaching on 'The Blessing of Marriage'. It is my prayer that after this teaching, your eyes of understanding will be opened to what God has packaged for you. First, we shall be looking at the subject: Be Fruitful.
As far as you are a covenant child, there are blessings you must enjoy in your marriage. The devil tries all his best to make sure he hinders God’s people from receiving the blessing of marriage. The devil is always looking for ways to steal from the believer. (John 10:10).
BE FRUITFUL
Unfruitfulness is a problem plaguing some marriages today. However, it is worth nothing that marriage is designed for fruitfulness. With the same breath God called forth light, and it came to be, He also said to man,
Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth (Gen. 1:28).
That was not an admonition, but a commandment. God did not say, “You may be fruitful”, but “ Be fruitful!” God designed your marriage to be fruitful. Never mind whatever contrary report you may be holding in your hands now. Barrenness is not of God, and should not be seen as a lesson or punishment from God. God tempts no man with evil. If there is anything like that, it is of the devil. Remember, the devil is the thief who has come to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10).
If you are married, and reading this article, and you are expecting the fruit of the womb, know that God is much interested in your being fruitful and multiply. It is the devil that is at the back of your affliction. Grab him and collect back your title from him. A loving father does not give his son a stone in place of bread. Splash the blood on the devil and collect back your inheritance from him NOW! For instance, you have been married for a few years now, and you are running out of patience with God. Maybe there are even some mockers around you saying it to your hearing that you are papa or mama ‘nobody’, rejoice and be glad. Why? The will of your heavenly Father is that you are fruitful, and the Word says:
For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. (Psa. 84:11)
He will not ask you to come back tomorrow for this good thing, He will give it right away. It is in His power to give you and He will surely give it to you NOW. This is your hour. God has made known His will to you. Who can turn His hand back? What kind of medical report can annul what the Almighty Himself says? Whose report will you then believe ? Relax and come to your senses. Stop panicking and running helter-skelter. Stop cursing and abusing your mockers. Stop spending your fortune looking for man-made-god-given-children. Stop frustrating your life. Be at peace with yourself and with your God and let His Word come to pass in your life.
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (Psa. 127:3)
As long as you are a child of God, you are entitled to the blessing of children. No matter what the doctors have diagnosed as being responsible, God is greater than the report. Faced with barrenness, what do you do? PRAISE HIM (Psalm 67:5-7)
Praise is comely. As you praise Him, your womb begins to yield her increase. Stop murmuring, God is not against you. Stop complaining, God is not the cause of your trouble. Remember Hannah, year in and out, she went to Shiloh with her husband, full of complaints that her mate was mocking her. Until she learnt the art of heartfelt prayer and vow to God, nothing happened. Stop looking at your distracters, face your God. When you look up to the sun, you don’t see the shadows. Look up unto the Sun of Righteousness, and let your healing and deliverance from the bondage of barrenness come speedily.
Wake up in the morning, let joy fill your heart and soul. Sing His praise and thank Him for a good day ahead. Thank Him that you are even in your right senses to know the desire of your heart. Will a mad woman on the street remember being barren? Thank Him that you even have a husband who is one flesh with you for procreation. Thank Him for His Word that can never fail in your life. Thank Him and thank Him again. As you keep rejoicing in Him, everything that the devil has stolen is being replaced, and sooner than you even think, you will carry your baby. God did not give Hannah only one child as she requested, but many more children followed. This shall be your portion.
SERVE HIM (Exodus 23:25-26)
This is a covenant between God and you. When you fulfill your own part of the agreement, you are automatically free to enjoy the benefits of that agreement. As you serve God, you can never remain barren. Check the Scriptures. No one who served God and was initially called barren remained so for life. God always intervened. Remember Zechariahs (Luke1:5-17). He was in the service of God, when his captivity of barrenness turned. Even though, himself and his wife had passed the normal child bearing age, the covenant of God - via service - will never be broken. As you wait on God for your own child, serve Him. With your time, your means, and your life. Don’t look for God because of children, rather serve Him with your heart for who He is. Matt. 6:33 says every other thing, including children, will freely be added.
Nothing has power to stand against your being fruitful. All it takes is knowledge - locating yourself in the Word of God. If you want to enjoy fruitfulness, as God has declared you to be, go for the light of God’s Word. Keep declaring it until that barren situation disappears. As it is recorded in John 1:5. No situation is too much for God to handle. Countless number of people had gotten their own testimonies simply by operating God’s Word, your own will not be an exception. By the power backing the Word, I bring to you today, that situation of barrenness is consumed right now. You are liberated. I declare you fruitful in Jesus Name.
This is your own month. Your trials are over in the Precious Name of Jesus Christ. I await your testimonies!Have you been born again? If your answer is no and you would want to be born again and to be called a child of God, say this prayer of faith:
Lord Jesus, I come to You today, wash me clean from my sin, make me a new creature. Thank You Jesus for writing my name in the book of life. Now, I know that I am born again. Amen!
Congratulations! You are now born again and a child of God.
Today, I shall be teaching on 'The Blessing of Marriage'. It is my prayer that after this teaching, your eyes of understanding will be opened to what God has packaged for you. First, we shall be looking at the subject: Be Fruitful.
As far as you are a covenant child, there are blessings you must enjoy in your marriage. The devil tries all his best to make sure he hinders God’s people from receiving the blessing of marriage. The devil is always looking for ways to steal from the believer. (John 10:10).
BE FRUITFUL
Unfruitfulness is a problem plaguing some marriages today. However, it is worth nothing that marriage is designed for fruitfulness. With the same breath God called forth light, and it came to be, He also said to man,
Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth (Gen. 1:28).
That was not an admonition, but a commandment. God did not say, “You may be fruitful”, but “ Be fruitful!” God designed your marriage to be fruitful. Never mind whatever contrary report you may be holding in your hands now. Barrenness is not of God, and should not be seen as a lesson or punishment from God. God tempts no man with evil. If there is anything like that, it is of the devil. Remember, the devil is the thief who has come to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10).
If you are married, and reading this article, and you are expecting the fruit of the womb, know that God is much interested in your being fruitful and multiply. It is the devil that is at the back of your affliction. Grab him and collect back your title from him. A loving father does not give his son a stone in place of bread. Splash the blood on the devil and collect back your inheritance from him NOW! For instance, you have been married for a few years now, and you are running out of patience with God. Maybe there are even some mockers around you saying it to your hearing that you are papa or mama ‘nobody’, rejoice and be glad. Why? The will of your heavenly Father is that you are fruitful, and the Word says:
For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. (Psa. 84:11)
He will not ask you to come back tomorrow for this good thing, He will give it right away. It is in His power to give you and He will surely give it to you NOW. This is your hour. God has made known His will to you. Who can turn His hand back? What kind of medical report can annul what the Almighty Himself says? Whose report will you then believe ? Relax and come to your senses. Stop panicking and running helter-skelter. Stop cursing and abusing your mockers. Stop spending your fortune looking for man-made-god-given-children. Stop frustrating your life. Be at peace with yourself and with your God and let His Word come to pass in your life.
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (Psa. 127:3)
As long as you are a child of God, you are entitled to the blessing of children. No matter what the doctors have diagnosed as being responsible, God is greater than the report. Faced with barrenness, what do you do? PRAISE HIM (Psalm 67:5-7)
Praise is comely. As you praise Him, your womb begins to yield her increase. Stop murmuring, God is not against you. Stop complaining, God is not the cause of your trouble. Remember Hannah, year in and out, she went to Shiloh with her husband, full of complaints that her mate was mocking her. Until she learnt the art of heartfelt prayer and vow to God, nothing happened. Stop looking at your distracters, face your God. When you look up to the sun, you don’t see the shadows. Look up unto the Sun of Righteousness, and let your healing and deliverance from the bondage of barrenness come speedily.
Wake up in the morning, let joy fill your heart and soul. Sing His praise and thank Him for a good day ahead. Thank Him that you are even in your right senses to know the desire of your heart. Will a mad woman on the street remember being barren? Thank Him that you even have a husband who is one flesh with you for procreation. Thank Him for His Word that can never fail in your life. Thank Him and thank Him again. As you keep rejoicing in Him, everything that the devil has stolen is being replaced, and sooner than you even think, you will carry your baby. God did not give Hannah only one child as she requested, but many more children followed. This shall be your portion.
SERVE HIM (Exodus 23:25-26)
This is a covenant between God and you. When you fulfill your own part of the agreement, you are automatically free to enjoy the benefits of that agreement. As you serve God, you can never remain barren. Check the Scriptures. No one who served God and was initially called barren remained so for life. God always intervened. Remember Zechariahs (Luke1:5-17). He was in the service of God, when his captivity of barrenness turned. Even though, himself and his wife had passed the normal child bearing age, the covenant of God - via service - will never be broken. As you wait on God for your own child, serve Him. With your time, your means, and your life. Don’t look for God because of children, rather serve Him with your heart for who He is. Matt. 6:33 says every other thing, including children, will freely be added.
Nothing has power to stand against your being fruitful. All it takes is knowledge - locating yourself in the Word of God. If you want to enjoy fruitfulness, as God has declared you to be, go for the light of God’s Word. Keep declaring it until that barren situation disappears. As it is recorded in John 1:5. No situation is too much for God to handle. Countless number of people had gotten their own testimonies simply by operating God’s Word, your own will not be an exception. By the power backing the Word, I bring to you today, that situation of barrenness is consumed right now. You are liberated. I declare you fruitful in Jesus Name.
This is your own month. Your trials are over in the Precious Name of Jesus Christ. I await your testimonies!Have you been born again? If your answer is no and you would want to be born again and to be called a child of God, say this prayer of faith:
Lord Jesus, I come to You today, wash me clean from my sin, make me a new creature. Thank You Jesus for writing my name in the book of life. Now, I know that I am born again. Amen!
Congratulations! You are now born again and a child of God.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Where to find wholesome family sport?
Where to find wholesome family sport?
With the advent of the internet, participating in outdoor sports is getting rare, and spending some quality family time in sport together is almost unheard of. But there is one type of sport that is both affordable and available nearby.
Think again, a family that plays together stay together. With everybody being busy with 'their' thing, it is no wonder that family get-together and quality time are rare nowadays. There is no doubt that the internet has contributed much to this problem, and if you were to ask junior about it, you will most likely get his answer as "I have no time, I need to update my friends in MySpace". So are Dad and Mom. If you were to invite the family to a get-together round of sport, most will not know that sort of sport you are referring to. Indeed, there are not many sporting games that you can have the whole family participating in. But there is one that is not only low cost, but will give everybody with a whole body work out. Yes, I am referring to the wholesome roller skating fun time at the public skating rinks. Here are more reasons to take this game seriously.
* Refreshes family bonds---every one gets along well at the rinks. No matter whether you are young or old, treading along the roller path together is a great feeling. You can have the little ones holding hands with grandpa, coasting slowly, taking care of each other.
* On the rinks, everyone has the same status----no matter how experienced you are with the roller skates, when you are on the rinks, your status is the same with every one else, even with the beginners. Here, Daddy can't impose his authority on junior, so junior gets a rare moment of respect from the senior. That's why the little ones love roller skating.
* Everyone gets a workout----when you are at the rink, you don't want to be just a spectator, you want to join in the fun, unless you are physically disadvantaged. You will also notice that everyone is putting up a smile here and there; the care free atmosphere is pervasive.
* The air is clean and you will probably not smell any cigarette smoke around. Neither will you encounter anybody binging on some fast food? You get everybody behaving at their level best. It is a really healthy place, and very affordable.
Besides all these goodness, the family will get to loose plenty of calories, almost three hundred from an hour of workout. All of them will also get to build up their calf and ankle muscles. It would be quite difficult for other family sports to even come close, be it from an affordable price point or the availability at all seasons. When there are frictions among family members, they can more easily settle it out at the rink than anywhere else. Group of friends will do well to patronize the roller skates rink more often as they can also improve their camaraderie there. Better still, have their birthday parties there; at least there is no necessity to clean out the place and getting rid of the rubbish and the dish washing chore! If family cohesion (certainly rare these days) is very important to you, then you should bring them there as often as possible. Happy cruising and more family quality time for you.
More ideas for the family quality times at roller skates
With the advent of the internet, participating in outdoor sports is getting rare, and spending some quality family time in sport together is almost unheard of. But there is one type of sport that is both affordable and available nearby.
Think again, a family that plays together stay together. With everybody being busy with 'their' thing, it is no wonder that family get-together and quality time are rare nowadays. There is no doubt that the internet has contributed much to this problem, and if you were to ask junior about it, you will most likely get his answer as "I have no time, I need to update my friends in MySpace". So are Dad and Mom. If you were to invite the family to a get-together round of sport, most will not know that sort of sport you are referring to. Indeed, there are not many sporting games that you can have the whole family participating in. But there is one that is not only low cost, but will give everybody with a whole body work out. Yes, I am referring to the wholesome roller skating fun time at the public skating rinks. Here are more reasons to take this game seriously.
* Refreshes family bonds---every one gets along well at the rinks. No matter whether you are young or old, treading along the roller path together is a great feeling. You can have the little ones holding hands with grandpa, coasting slowly, taking care of each other.
* On the rinks, everyone has the same status----no matter how experienced you are with the roller skates, when you are on the rinks, your status is the same with every one else, even with the beginners. Here, Daddy can't impose his authority on junior, so junior gets a rare moment of respect from the senior. That's why the little ones love roller skating.
* Everyone gets a workout----when you are at the rink, you don't want to be just a spectator, you want to join in the fun, unless you are physically disadvantaged. You will also notice that everyone is putting up a smile here and there; the care free atmosphere is pervasive.
* The air is clean and you will probably not smell any cigarette smoke around. Neither will you encounter anybody binging on some fast food? You get everybody behaving at their level best. It is a really healthy place, and very affordable.
Besides all these goodness, the family will get to loose plenty of calories, almost three hundred from an hour of workout. All of them will also get to build up their calf and ankle muscles. It would be quite difficult for other family sports to even come close, be it from an affordable price point or the availability at all seasons. When there are frictions among family members, they can more easily settle it out at the rink than anywhere else. Group of friends will do well to patronize the roller skates rink more often as they can also improve their camaraderie there. Better still, have their birthday parties there; at least there is no necessity to clean out the place and getting rid of the rubbish and the dish washing chore! If family cohesion (certainly rare these days) is very important to you, then you should bring them there as often as possible. Happy cruising and more family quality time for you.
More ideas for the family quality times at roller skates
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Where to find wholesome family sport?
Where to find wholesome family sport?
With the advent of the internet, participating in outdoor sports is getting rare, and spending some quality family time in sport together is almost unheard of. But there is one type of sport that is both affordable and available nearby.
Think again, a family that plays together stay together. With everybody being busy with 'their' thing, it is no wonder that family get-together and quality time are rare nowadays. There is no doubt that the internet has contributed much to this problem, and if you were to ask junior about it, you will most likely get his answer as "I have no time, I need to update my friends in MySpace". So are Dad and Mom. If you were to invite the family to a get-together round of sport, most will not know that sort of sport you are referring to. Indeed, there are not many sporting games that you can have the whole family participating in. But there is one that is not only low cost, but will give everybody with a whole body work out. Yes, I am referring to the wholesome roller skating fun time at the public skating rinks. Here are more reasons to take this game seriously.
* Refreshes family bonds---every one gets along well at the rinks. No matter whether you are young or old, treading along the roller path together is a great feeling. You can have the little ones holding hands with grandpa, coasting slowly, taking care of each other.
* On the rinks, everyone has the same status----no matter how experienced you are with the roller skates, when you are on the rinks, your status is the same with every one else, even with the beginners. Here, Daddy can't impose his authority on junior, so junior gets a rare moment of respect from the senior. That's why the little ones love roller skating.
* Everyone gets a workout----when you are at the rink, you don't want to be just a spectator, you want to join in the fun, unless you are physically disadvantaged. You will also notice that everyone is putting up a smile here and there; the care free atmosphere is pervasive.
* The air is clean and you will probably not smell any cigarette smoke around. Neither will you encounter anybody binging on some fast food? You get everybody behaving at their level best. It is a really healthy place, and very affordable.
Besides all these goodness, the family will get to loose plenty of calories, almost three hundred from an hour of workout. All of them will also get to build up their calf and ankle muscles. It would be quite difficult for other family sports to even come close, be it from an affordable price point or the availability at all seasons. When there are frictions among family members, they can more easily settle it out at the rink than anywhere else. Group of friends will do well to patronize the roller skates rink more often as they can also improve their camaraderie there. Better still, have their birthday parties there; at least there is no necessity to clean out the place and getting rid of the rubbish and the dish washing chore! If family cohesion (certainly rare these days) is very important to you, then you should bring them there as often as possible. Happy cruising and more family quality time for you.
More ideas for the family quality times at roller skates
With the advent of the internet, participating in outdoor sports is getting rare, and spending some quality family time in sport together is almost unheard of. But there is one type of sport that is both affordable and available nearby.
Think again, a family that plays together stay together. With everybody being busy with 'their' thing, it is no wonder that family get-together and quality time are rare nowadays. There is no doubt that the internet has contributed much to this problem, and if you were to ask junior about it, you will most likely get his answer as "I have no time, I need to update my friends in MySpace". So are Dad and Mom. If you were to invite the family to a get-together round of sport, most will not know that sort of sport you are referring to. Indeed, there are not many sporting games that you can have the whole family participating in. But there is one that is not only low cost, but will give everybody with a whole body work out. Yes, I am referring to the wholesome roller skating fun time at the public skating rinks. Here are more reasons to take this game seriously.
* Refreshes family bonds---every one gets along well at the rinks. No matter whether you are young or old, treading along the roller path together is a great feeling. You can have the little ones holding hands with grandpa, coasting slowly, taking care of each other.
* On the rinks, everyone has the same status----no matter how experienced you are with the roller skates, when you are on the rinks, your status is the same with every one else, even with the beginners. Here, Daddy can't impose his authority on junior, so junior gets a rare moment of respect from the senior. That's why the little ones love roller skating.
* Everyone gets a workout----when you are at the rink, you don't want to be just a spectator, you want to join in the fun, unless you are physically disadvantaged. You will also notice that everyone is putting up a smile here and there; the care free atmosphere is pervasive.
* The air is clean and you will probably not smell any cigarette smoke around. Neither will you encounter anybody binging on some fast food? You get everybody behaving at their level best. It is a really healthy place, and very affordable.
Besides all these goodness, the family will get to loose plenty of calories, almost three hundred from an hour of workout. All of them will also get to build up their calf and ankle muscles. It would be quite difficult for other family sports to even come close, be it from an affordable price point or the availability at all seasons. When there are frictions among family members, they can more easily settle it out at the rink than anywhere else. Group of friends will do well to patronize the roller skates rink more often as they can also improve their camaraderie there. Better still, have their birthday parties there; at least there is no necessity to clean out the place and getting rid of the rubbish and the dish washing chore! If family cohesion (certainly rare these days) is very important to you, then you should bring them there as often as possible. Happy cruising and more family quality time for you.
More ideas for the family quality times at roller skates
Monday, March 23, 2009
Balancing Business and Family
Balancing Business and Family
Importance of making time for your family emerges from the fundamental goal of life-peace and happiness. In our pursuit for a successful business we normally overlook the need for making time for the family. But the fact is that time spent with the family help us to succeed in business as well. Surprising? But it is true.
Family Time Helps Business
In today’s busy world one gets stressed easily. Projects to be completed, deadlines to be met, stringent time schedule all add up to one’s stress. Do you know that time spent with family is a great stress buster. When you play around with your kids for some time you feel relieved and happy. Your state of mind becomes fresh and active. This helps you to perform better. So, if you wish to achieve more spend some quality time with your family
Family Time Ensures Health
By making time for your family you ensure that you are free from anxiety and stress. Precious time that you spend with your family guarantees your physical health and mental well-being. Family time helps you to ward off stress related health problems like blood pressure etc.
Family Time Betters Bonding
Importance of making time for your family cannot be over emphasized, as it is very essential for harmonious human relationships. Time devoted to family assures proper communication among family members. It gives a chance to understand each other better and the situation on the whole. If you let your family members know about your plans they can support you easily. Such support you get and the secure feeling you have from strong relationships help you achieve your goals.
Time spent together by the family members is very valuable as it helps grow love, mutual support, understanding, long lasting relationships and happiness.
Family Time Makes Better Parents
Remember your childhood days? How eagerly you waited for your dad to come to your birthday party? How desperately you wanted your mother do be there for you during a problem? So, please ensure that your business does not come in the way between you and your kids. Young souls need the support and guidance of the elders very badly. It is the duty of responsible parents to see that their kids learn good behavior and acquire skills to face life.
Parents should dedicate a share of their time to their kids. Good parenting callas for helping their kids with their lessons. Growing children need that secure feeling more than anything else. It is important on parents’ part to assure that.
The importance of making time for your family when you operate a business can be clearly understood from the following facts.
• Precious family time helps marriages survive
• Time spent with the family improves your performance; you get peace and happiness
• Kids get the support they need and they grow into good human beings
• Happy families result in a happier you and a successful you
What are you waiting for you then? Make time for your family and get the taste of peace, success, happiness and contentment.
For more great tips on how to be successful with your home-based business, visit Chris De La Rosa's blog where you'll learn more about Balancing Business and Family.
Importance of making time for your family emerges from the fundamental goal of life-peace and happiness. In our pursuit for a successful business we normally overlook the need for making time for the family. But the fact is that time spent with the family help us to succeed in business as well. Surprising? But it is true.
Family Time Helps Business
In today’s busy world one gets stressed easily. Projects to be completed, deadlines to be met, stringent time schedule all add up to one’s stress. Do you know that time spent with family is a great stress buster. When you play around with your kids for some time you feel relieved and happy. Your state of mind becomes fresh and active. This helps you to perform better. So, if you wish to achieve more spend some quality time with your family
Family Time Ensures Health
By making time for your family you ensure that you are free from anxiety and stress. Precious time that you spend with your family guarantees your physical health and mental well-being. Family time helps you to ward off stress related health problems like blood pressure etc.
Family Time Betters Bonding
Importance of making time for your family cannot be over emphasized, as it is very essential for harmonious human relationships. Time devoted to family assures proper communication among family members. It gives a chance to understand each other better and the situation on the whole. If you let your family members know about your plans they can support you easily. Such support you get and the secure feeling you have from strong relationships help you achieve your goals.
Time spent together by the family members is very valuable as it helps grow love, mutual support, understanding, long lasting relationships and happiness.
Family Time Makes Better Parents
Remember your childhood days? How eagerly you waited for your dad to come to your birthday party? How desperately you wanted your mother do be there for you during a problem? So, please ensure that your business does not come in the way between you and your kids. Young souls need the support and guidance of the elders very badly. It is the duty of responsible parents to see that their kids learn good behavior and acquire skills to face life.
Parents should dedicate a share of their time to their kids. Good parenting callas for helping their kids with their lessons. Growing children need that secure feeling more than anything else. It is important on parents’ part to assure that.
The importance of making time for your family when you operate a business can be clearly understood from the following facts.
• Precious family time helps marriages survive
• Time spent with the family improves your performance; you get peace and happiness
• Kids get the support they need and they grow into good human beings
• Happy families result in a happier you and a successful you
What are you waiting for you then? Make time for your family and get the taste of peace, success, happiness and contentment.
For more great tips on how to be successful with your home-based business, visit Chris De La Rosa's blog where you'll learn more about Balancing Business and Family.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
3 Benefits Your Family Can Reap From Playing Together
3 Benefits Your Family Can Reap From Playing Together
3 Benefits Your Family Can Reap From Playing Together
Enlarge Image
What if I told you there was a technique you could use to bring your family closer together and teach your children important life skills? What if I told you it could be both fun and free?
The simple technique is setting up a regular family game night. It sounds too simple, too easy, but spending time every week or every month together as a family playing games can reap tremendous rewards for your family and especially your children. Your children will learn important social skills and academic skills, but you will all benefit from bonding together over board games or whatever your choice of activity.
Playing board games can teach children important social skills such as taking turns and how to be a good winner or loser. They also learn a lot about interpersonal communication as you talk and laugh together while you play the game.
Do not overlook the many academic benefits children can reap from playing games as well. Even young children learn simple skills such as counting, colors and shapes and as they grow older they learn sorting, matching, and reading skills from games. As children grow older then you can advance to more challenging games that require higher level thinking and reasoning skills.
Today's family usually has a busy schedule that often sends each member bustling off in a different direction much of the week. There are not many occasions when a family actually sits down together for more than the few minutes it takes to eat a meal (and sometimes not even that long). Setting aside a dedicate game night will mean that your family will have a few hours where there are no outside distractions and you are simply focused on enjoying each other. Playing a game takes the pressure off so there is no need to force conversation, but you might be surprised what you learn about and from your children during this time. Even if a rousing game of "Sorry" or "Trouble" does not inspire confidences right away, it will surely give you time to simply enjoy being together and will lead to the type of memories that your children will carry with them throughout their lives. Once your children know that they will have this time with your undivided attention then this will likely become the time when they do test out important questions and confidences.
It is important to set out some important guidelines for this night. It would be great to set aside one night a week, but perhaps it is only possible to hold a game night every two weeks or once a month. The most important element is that you make an effort to be consistent so children can look forward to the night and can rely on it. Second, you must turn off the television (all the TVs in the house) and makes sure the answering machine is on. No answering the phone or door bell (except maybe to collect the pizza). This is family time and family should be the priority. Short of fire, death or dismemberment there is nothing that cannot wait until after your game(s) are done. You should set aside at least one hour when children are younger and two hours when they are older but do not make an announcement of the time to avoid clock watching. The actual games do not matter much as long as they are board or card games. Computer games will not achieve the same results so you should avoid those.
Regular family game nights can reap tremendous benefits. Your children will learn important social skills and academic skills and you will all benefit from bonding together over a fun, relaxing activity. Go ahead and give it a try. You have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain.
Deanna Mascle shares more tips about Family Fun Activities in her blog at http://familyfunforyou.info
By Deanna Mascle
Published: 11/17/2006
3 Benefits Your Family Can Reap From Playing Together
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What if I told you there was a technique you could use to bring your family closer together and teach your children important life skills? What if I told you it could be both fun and free?
The simple technique is setting up a regular family game night. It sounds too simple, too easy, but spending time every week or every month together as a family playing games can reap tremendous rewards for your family and especially your children. Your children will learn important social skills and academic skills, but you will all benefit from bonding together over board games or whatever your choice of activity.
Playing board games can teach children important social skills such as taking turns and how to be a good winner or loser. They also learn a lot about interpersonal communication as you talk and laugh together while you play the game.
Do not overlook the many academic benefits children can reap from playing games as well. Even young children learn simple skills such as counting, colors and shapes and as they grow older they learn sorting, matching, and reading skills from games. As children grow older then you can advance to more challenging games that require higher level thinking and reasoning skills.
Today's family usually has a busy schedule that often sends each member bustling off in a different direction much of the week. There are not many occasions when a family actually sits down together for more than the few minutes it takes to eat a meal (and sometimes not even that long). Setting aside a dedicate game night will mean that your family will have a few hours where there are no outside distractions and you are simply focused on enjoying each other. Playing a game takes the pressure off so there is no need to force conversation, but you might be surprised what you learn about and from your children during this time. Even if a rousing game of "Sorry" or "Trouble" does not inspire confidences right away, it will surely give you time to simply enjoy being together and will lead to the type of memories that your children will carry with them throughout their lives. Once your children know that they will have this time with your undivided attention then this will likely become the time when they do test out important questions and confidences.
It is important to set out some important guidelines for this night. It would be great to set aside one night a week, but perhaps it is only possible to hold a game night every two weeks or once a month. The most important element is that you make an effort to be consistent so children can look forward to the night and can rely on it. Second, you must turn off the television (all the TVs in the house) and makes sure the answering machine is on. No answering the phone or door bell (except maybe to collect the pizza). This is family time and family should be the priority. Short of fire, death or dismemberment there is nothing that cannot wait until after your game(s) are done. You should set aside at least one hour when children are younger and two hours when they are older but do not make an announcement of the time to avoid clock watching. The actual games do not matter much as long as they are board or card games. Computer games will not achieve the same results so you should avoid those.
Regular family game nights can reap tremendous benefits. Your children will learn important social skills and academic skills and you will all benefit from bonding together over a fun, relaxing activity. Go ahead and give it a try. You have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain.
Deanna Mascle shares more tips about Family Fun Activities in her blog at http://familyfunforyou.info
By Deanna Mascle
Published: 11/17/2006
Friday, March 20, 2009
Family Fun Activities: Why family entertainment is important
Family Fun Activities: Why family entertainment is important
Do you spend much time considering the issue of family entertainment? When parents compare notes and questions about parenting, the issue of entertainment rarely comes up. After all, how can family fun compare with such important issues as health, safety, values, nutrition, and education? But family fun is an important issue for parents for three reasons.
First, it is important to remember that family bonds are not born in the delivery room. Family bonds have to be forged and strengthened over time. Family fun is a great way to build family bonds by spending time together. While you cannot plan an activity specifically just to create a better relationship with your children you can improve your relationship through a family fun activity.
Second, the best way to teach your children something new or help them master a new skill is through fun. No one, and especially not kids, likes learning by listening to a boring lecture but if you can take your children to a location that allows you to teach them something about science, history, or the world then you will be increasing their knowledge based. Fun can be educational as well as entertaining. Remember, that there are all kinds of fun scientific concepts as well as world knowledge that can be learned outside of museums.
Family fun activities are also important for building those lasting memories of their childhood that children will carry into adulthood and out of your home. What stories do you want your children to be able to tell their children? What memories do you want your children to have? Happy childhood memories can help children with self esteem and overcome challenges in the future. Giving your children those happy childhood memories will help provide a solid foundation to become the people you want them to be as adults.
Spending time, energy and money focusing on family fun activities is a worthwhile activity for every parent because it helps strengthen family bonds, provides opportunities for learning, and creates lasting memories. Keep that in mind the next time you decide family entertainment is not a high priority.
Deanna Mascle shares more Family Fun Activities and Family Entertainment Tips at http://familyfunforyou.com
Do you spend much time considering the issue of family entertainment? When parents compare notes and questions about parenting, the issue of entertainment rarely comes up. After all, how can family fun compare with such important issues as health, safety, values, nutrition, and education? But family fun is an important issue for parents for three reasons.
First, it is important to remember that family bonds are not born in the delivery room. Family bonds have to be forged and strengthened over time. Family fun is a great way to build family bonds by spending time together. While you cannot plan an activity specifically just to create a better relationship with your children you can improve your relationship through a family fun activity.
Second, the best way to teach your children something new or help them master a new skill is through fun. No one, and especially not kids, likes learning by listening to a boring lecture but if you can take your children to a location that allows you to teach them something about science, history, or the world then you will be increasing their knowledge based. Fun can be educational as well as entertaining. Remember, that there are all kinds of fun scientific concepts as well as world knowledge that can be learned outside of museums.
Family fun activities are also important for building those lasting memories of their childhood that children will carry into adulthood and out of your home. What stories do you want your children to be able to tell their children? What memories do you want your children to have? Happy childhood memories can help children with self esteem and overcome challenges in the future. Giving your children those happy childhood memories will help provide a solid foundation to become the people you want them to be as adults.
Spending time, energy and money focusing on family fun activities is a worthwhile activity for every parent because it helps strengthen family bonds, provides opportunities for learning, and creates lasting memories. Keep that in mind the next time you decide family entertainment is not a high priority.
Deanna Mascle shares more Family Fun Activities and Family Entertainment Tips at http://familyfunforyou.com
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Family Games Can Help to Ease Tensions
Family Games Can Help to Ease Tensions
The holiday season is usually the time when many families plan to spend quality time together, but as the famous saying goes, "familiarity often breeds contempt." But get the family together to play a game, and that familiarity can turn into family fun.
Family Games Can Help to Ease Tensions
Psychologists have long studied ways to enhance family harmony and interrelations. Some of the most widely suggested therapies to increase harmony between family members are to develop good communications, be honest and approachable, and enter into every relationship with openness and a pleasant demeanor.
All three of those suggestions can easily be combined into one simple, enjoyable family therapy session with a good game. For young children, board games are an excellent way to develop positive thinking skills, creative competition, and healthy attitudes toward winning and losing. Whether playing sports or a board game, everyone involved wants to win, and parents should encourage and teach their children winning ways. But it is equally important for family members to learn to lose gracefully. In every game there is at least one winner, but there is also at least one loser.
The psychology lab at North Carolina State University recruited a group of families to take part in a study of family relations, playing a game called Life Stories. "Every family has issues, so we asked them to engage and talk about some of the issues that matter to them," said Dr. Amy Halberstadt, an associate professor at N.C. State. Halberstadt wanted to know how different families respond to serious issues in the home, so they developed the study to research how families respond to issues raised during games they play.
Halberstadt believes that games themselves can reduce stress in the home and improve relationships between family members. She calls the process the 5-to-1 ratio. "So if you can boost your positive conversations, compliment, positive experiences; to have 5 of those for every one conflict or negative experience, that really seems to benefit families," said Halberstadt.
The Life Stories game is a typical roll-the-dice board game where you move a character around the board and draw cards. But the questions on the cards get players talking about their emotions, values, and issues in family life at home. The issues that arise while playing the game give Halberstadt clues to how the family handles issues in their own lives. Using the game, Halberstadt is able to help families discuss "shared goals" as a way to reduce conflicts.
The N.C. State psychology department is looking for more families to participate in the study. Interested families can contact the school at 919-515-1730 or by e-mail at fabb_lab@ncsu.edu.
The holiday season is usually the time when many families plan to spend quality time together, but as the famous saying goes, "familiarity often breeds contempt." But get the family together to play a game, and that familiarity can turn into family fun.
Family Games Can Help to Ease Tensions
Psychologists have long studied ways to enhance family harmony and interrelations. Some of the most widely suggested therapies to increase harmony between family members are to develop good communications, be honest and approachable, and enter into every relationship with openness and a pleasant demeanor.
All three of those suggestions can easily be combined into one simple, enjoyable family therapy session with a good game. For young children, board games are an excellent way to develop positive thinking skills, creative competition, and healthy attitudes toward winning and losing. Whether playing sports or a board game, everyone involved wants to win, and parents should encourage and teach their children winning ways. But it is equally important for family members to learn to lose gracefully. In every game there is at least one winner, but there is also at least one loser.
The psychology lab at North Carolina State University recruited a group of families to take part in a study of family relations, playing a game called Life Stories. "Every family has issues, so we asked them to engage and talk about some of the issues that matter to them," said Dr. Amy Halberstadt, an associate professor at N.C. State. Halberstadt wanted to know how different families respond to serious issues in the home, so they developed the study to research how families respond to issues raised during games they play.
Halberstadt believes that games themselves can reduce stress in the home and improve relationships between family members. She calls the process the 5-to-1 ratio. "So if you can boost your positive conversations, compliment, positive experiences; to have 5 of those for every one conflict or negative experience, that really seems to benefit families," said Halberstadt.
The Life Stories game is a typical roll-the-dice board game where you move a character around the board and draw cards. But the questions on the cards get players talking about their emotions, values, and issues in family life at home. The issues that arise while playing the game give Halberstadt clues to how the family handles issues in their own lives. Using the game, Halberstadt is able to help families discuss "shared goals" as a way to reduce conflicts.
The N.C. State psychology department is looking for more families to participate in the study. Interested families can contact the school at 919-515-1730 or by e-mail at fabb_lab@ncsu.edu.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Forgiveness Is Mandatory In Life and Especially In Divorce
Forgiveness Is Mandatory In Life and Especially In Divorce
Parenthood is a privilege. You have one choice opportunity to help your children become successful, happy adults. You can’t do this until you forgive their other parent. Here’s how.
Your privilege at this point in your life is to be an extraordinary parent. You get to raise up some healthy, happy kids. You can’t be an effective parent until you get your own stuff together. This is the foundation. This is what allows you to be there for them today, tomorrow and in the years to come.
Everyone knows forgiveness is good, right, just, and important. It’s just better when someone else is doing it. Forgiveness is in the Bible. You know about that even if you don’t read the Bible. You know that every major religion in the world insists that we forgive our brothers and sisters. You know that Jesus Christ forgave the men who whipped him and crucified him. They did a lost worse to him than your wife or husband did to you.
At your core, you know that forgiveness is the way to go. We know instinctively, although sometimes it’s really hard to see this, that’s its best for us. But why is it so hard to forgive? Why is it that some really good people can’t seem to forgive someone who’s done them wrong? Sometimes the really good people, the ones you trust your life with, have an even harder time forgiving.
Why is it so hard to forgive? Why should I forgive? And how do I forgive? How do I get to that point where I can forgive?
It’s even harder to forgive if you’re the one who got dumped (also known as the dumpee). Most of the people picking up this book were dumpees. Ok, I was a dumpee and some of my best friends were dumpees. Over the long haul, the dumpees usually fair better. But to really do well in life, they have to get past this forgiveness thing. I really want to tell you that You have to forgive her (him) but I won’t, because it’s human nature to resist when another person tells you you have to do something. And, it would be really good for you and for your kids if you could forgive her (him).
Don’t throw this article away! This is the part that’s really valuable to your children. This is the part that will do the most to let your kids know everything is ok. It will help them grow up healthy and happy. You might be thinking now that you’re going to throw up because I keep talking about forgiving her and all you can do is imagine her having sex with someone else, behind your back, while you were a good husband. I’m telling you to forgive him and you think I don’t understand because I’m just a stupid man and I can’t possibly imagine how you feel, knowing you were taking care of little kids and making dinner and being a wonderful wife while your husband was meeting his secretary at a hotel. Let me assure you. I don’t care about your cheating husband or lying wife. I care about your kids. I want to help you. This isn’t about helping the person who is being forgiven. It’s all about helping the one who is doing the forgiving.
Understand that when you forgive your husband, you are not condoning what he did. When you forgive your wife, you are not in any way approving of what she did. Forgiveness has nothing to do with right and wrong. It has everything to do with freedom and release.
You’ve probably heard the saying that revenge is like taking poison and expecting your enemy to die. It’s true. As I mentioned earlier, the ancients knew these things long before we were ever born.
The truth is, no matter what your husband or wife did, you’re not going to get even with them. You’re certainly not going to physically harm them or kill them. You’re not going to make it go away, and you’re not going to make it right. They most certainly did what they did because of their own flaws and weaknesses. Remember George on Seinfeld, when he tells a women he was breaking up with, "It’s not you; it’s me?" He was right! If your husband or wife dumped you, it really is them. That’s not to say you’re perfect, and I would encourage you to learn as much as you can about yourself. But if you got dumped, there was a reason for it and most likely that reason was inside that other person. That may not make you feel any better, but they thought they had a good reason. They probably even thought they had to do it. It was more than just a desire; it was necessary for them.
First you have to understand why. Why did they break your heart? Why did they leave you? Why did they cause the divorce? Just for a moment, put aside your judgment, suspend any thoughts of blame. Cut through all the clutter and just look for the answer to why. The answer may not be rational. It may not be logical. It probably won’t make sense. That’s ok. You’re just looking for the answer to "Why?"
Is it because they weren’t satisfied with you? Is it because you didn’t make enough money? Or you weren’t funny enough? Remember, the answer to why they left probably doesn’t make sense, and you just want to get to the answer. Most people don’t make decisions based on logic. They make decisions based on emotions.
There’s another part to this that makes it even stronger. It’s faith. You need to develop faith that things really do work out. You may not be able to see how it’s going to work out from where you’re standing right now, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t work out. There really is a bigger picture that we don’t see. The more you develop faith, the more you will see things working out for you and your family. The more you stop trying to control everything in your life, the more you will find that your life makes sense and the more you will see the pattern. All this will foster happy kids, making you an effective and successful parent.
By Len Stauffenger
Published: 6/10/2008
Parenthood is a privilege. You have one choice opportunity to help your children become successful, happy adults. You can’t do this until you forgive their other parent. Here’s how.
Your privilege at this point in your life is to be an extraordinary parent. You get to raise up some healthy, happy kids. You can’t be an effective parent until you get your own stuff together. This is the foundation. This is what allows you to be there for them today, tomorrow and in the years to come.
Everyone knows forgiveness is good, right, just, and important. It’s just better when someone else is doing it. Forgiveness is in the Bible. You know about that even if you don’t read the Bible. You know that every major religion in the world insists that we forgive our brothers and sisters. You know that Jesus Christ forgave the men who whipped him and crucified him. They did a lost worse to him than your wife or husband did to you.
At your core, you know that forgiveness is the way to go. We know instinctively, although sometimes it’s really hard to see this, that’s its best for us. But why is it so hard to forgive? Why is it that some really good people can’t seem to forgive someone who’s done them wrong? Sometimes the really good people, the ones you trust your life with, have an even harder time forgiving.
Why is it so hard to forgive? Why should I forgive? And how do I forgive? How do I get to that point where I can forgive?
It’s even harder to forgive if you’re the one who got dumped (also known as the dumpee). Most of the people picking up this book were dumpees. Ok, I was a dumpee and some of my best friends were dumpees. Over the long haul, the dumpees usually fair better. But to really do well in life, they have to get past this forgiveness thing. I really want to tell you that You have to forgive her (him) but I won’t, because it’s human nature to resist when another person tells you you have to do something. And, it would be really good for you and for your kids if you could forgive her (him).
Don’t throw this article away! This is the part that’s really valuable to your children. This is the part that will do the most to let your kids know everything is ok. It will help them grow up healthy and happy. You might be thinking now that you’re going to throw up because I keep talking about forgiving her and all you can do is imagine her having sex with someone else, behind your back, while you were a good husband. I’m telling you to forgive him and you think I don’t understand because I’m just a stupid man and I can’t possibly imagine how you feel, knowing you were taking care of little kids and making dinner and being a wonderful wife while your husband was meeting his secretary at a hotel. Let me assure you. I don’t care about your cheating husband or lying wife. I care about your kids. I want to help you. This isn’t about helping the person who is being forgiven. It’s all about helping the one who is doing the forgiving.
Understand that when you forgive your husband, you are not condoning what he did. When you forgive your wife, you are not in any way approving of what she did. Forgiveness has nothing to do with right and wrong. It has everything to do with freedom and release.
You’ve probably heard the saying that revenge is like taking poison and expecting your enemy to die. It’s true. As I mentioned earlier, the ancients knew these things long before we were ever born.
The truth is, no matter what your husband or wife did, you’re not going to get even with them. You’re certainly not going to physically harm them or kill them. You’re not going to make it go away, and you’re not going to make it right. They most certainly did what they did because of their own flaws and weaknesses. Remember George on Seinfeld, when he tells a women he was breaking up with, "It’s not you; it’s me?" He was right! If your husband or wife dumped you, it really is them. That’s not to say you’re perfect, and I would encourage you to learn as much as you can about yourself. But if you got dumped, there was a reason for it and most likely that reason was inside that other person. That may not make you feel any better, but they thought they had a good reason. They probably even thought they had to do it. It was more than just a desire; it was necessary for them.
First you have to understand why. Why did they break your heart? Why did they leave you? Why did they cause the divorce? Just for a moment, put aside your judgment, suspend any thoughts of blame. Cut through all the clutter and just look for the answer to why. The answer may not be rational. It may not be logical. It probably won’t make sense. That’s ok. You’re just looking for the answer to "Why?"
Is it because they weren’t satisfied with you? Is it because you didn’t make enough money? Or you weren’t funny enough? Remember, the answer to why they left probably doesn’t make sense, and you just want to get to the answer. Most people don’t make decisions based on logic. They make decisions based on emotions.
There’s another part to this that makes it even stronger. It’s faith. You need to develop faith that things really do work out. You may not be able to see how it’s going to work out from where you’re standing right now, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t work out. There really is a bigger picture that we don’t see. The more you develop faith, the more you will see things working out for you and your family. The more you stop trying to control everything in your life, the more you will find that your life makes sense and the more you will see the pattern. All this will foster happy kids, making you an effective and successful parent.
By Len Stauffenger
Published: 6/10/2008
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Actions of Love
Actions of Love
Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf. Taking loving action will change everything in your life, including your relationships.
Actions of Love
Myrna, 38 and a successful physician, sought my help because she often felt inadequate. While she really valued herself as a doctor, she did not value herself in her important relationships with friends and family. In addition, she said she wanted to be in a loving relationship but she took no actions to meet available men.
In the course of our work together, it became apparent that Myrna rarely took loving action in her own behalf with her friends and family. For example, Jessica, one of Myrna’s friends, would often get angry and blame Myrna when Myrna was not available for dinner with Jessica. Myrna would feel guilty and responsible for Jessica’s feelings and meet her for dinner even when she was exhausted from work. Myrna would feel drained after these dinners and depressed for a few days after, never realizing it was because she had not taken loving care of herself.
Myrna realized that the reason she was afraid to be in a relationship was because she had no idea how to take care of herself around others. She was terrified of completely losing herself in an important relationship. She realized that if she could not speak up for herself with Jessica, how could she ever speak up and take loving action for herself with a man she was in love with? She realized that she would continue to feel lonely, anxious, inadequate and depressed until she learned to take loving action for herself.
Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger as well as from feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf.
Loving actions fall into two categories: Loving actions for yourself and loving actions in relationship to others.
LOVING ACTIONS FOR YOURSELF
Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.
Loving actions for yourself might include:
* Eating nutritious foods, avoiding junk food and sugar, eating when hungry and stopping when full.
* Getting enough exercise.
* Keeping your work and home environments clean and organized.
* Getting enough sleep.
* Creating a balance between work and play. Making sure you have time to get your work done, as well as time to do nothing, reflect, learn, play and create.
* Creating a good support system of people who love and care about you.
* Being organized with your time, getting places on time, paying bills on time, and so on.
* Choosing to be compassionate with yourself rather than judgmental toward yourself.
* Creating a balance between time for yourself and time with others.
* Making sure you are physically safe by wearing a seat belt in a car, a helmet on a motorcycle, scooter, or bike, goggles when necessary, and so on.
LOVING ACTIONS IN RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS
Loving actions in relationship to others might include:
* Being kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
* Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes, rather than giving yourself up and going along with something you don’t want to do, or automatically resisting what another wants from you.
* Taking care of your own needs instead of trying to change and control others. Accepting your lack of control over others and either accepting them as they are or not being around them.
* Speaking your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable and then taking action for yourself based on your truth.
* Taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim and making others responsible for your feelings and needs.
* Creating a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.
As a result of learning to take better care of herself alone and with others, Myrna no longer felt depressed and inadequate. She gradually lost her fears of being in a relationship, and is delighted to be meeting available men.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
By Margaret Paul
Published: 1/10/2006
Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf. Taking loving action will change everything in your life, including your relationships.
Actions of Love
Myrna, 38 and a successful physician, sought my help because she often felt inadequate. While she really valued herself as a doctor, she did not value herself in her important relationships with friends and family. In addition, she said she wanted to be in a loving relationship but she took no actions to meet available men.
In the course of our work together, it became apparent that Myrna rarely took loving action in her own behalf with her friends and family. For example, Jessica, one of Myrna’s friends, would often get angry and blame Myrna when Myrna was not available for dinner with Jessica. Myrna would feel guilty and responsible for Jessica’s feelings and meet her for dinner even when she was exhausted from work. Myrna would feel drained after these dinners and depressed for a few days after, never realizing it was because she had not taken loving care of herself.
Myrna realized that the reason she was afraid to be in a relationship was because she had no idea how to take care of herself around others. She was terrified of completely losing herself in an important relationship. She realized that if she could not speak up for herself with Jessica, how could she ever speak up and take loving action for herself with a man she was in love with? She realized that she would continue to feel lonely, anxious, inadequate and depressed until she learned to take loving action for herself.
Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger as well as from feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf.
Loving actions fall into two categories: Loving actions for yourself and loving actions in relationship to others.
LOVING ACTIONS FOR YOURSELF
Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.
Loving actions for yourself might include:
* Eating nutritious foods, avoiding junk food and sugar, eating when hungry and stopping when full.
* Getting enough exercise.
* Keeping your work and home environments clean and organized.
* Getting enough sleep.
* Creating a balance between work and play. Making sure you have time to get your work done, as well as time to do nothing, reflect, learn, play and create.
* Creating a good support system of people who love and care about you.
* Being organized with your time, getting places on time, paying bills on time, and so on.
* Choosing to be compassionate with yourself rather than judgmental toward yourself.
* Creating a balance between time for yourself and time with others.
* Making sure you are physically safe by wearing a seat belt in a car, a helmet on a motorcycle, scooter, or bike, goggles when necessary, and so on.
LOVING ACTIONS IN RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS
Loving actions in relationship to others might include:
* Being kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
* Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes, rather than giving yourself up and going along with something you don’t want to do, or automatically resisting what another wants from you.
* Taking care of your own needs instead of trying to change and control others. Accepting your lack of control over others and either accepting them as they are or not being around them.
* Speaking your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable and then taking action for yourself based on your truth.
* Taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim and making others responsible for your feelings and needs.
* Creating a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.
As a result of learning to take better care of herself alone and with others, Myrna no longer felt depressed and inadequate. She gradually lost her fears of being in a relationship, and is delighted to be meeting available men.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
By Margaret Paul
Published: 1/10/2006
Monday, March 16, 2009
Are you hurting your family?
Are you hurting your family?
Three steps to safeguarding your family...
Are you hurting your family?
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If you're like me, working 2 jobs, volunteering for civic events, attending (and trying to support) your local church, by the time you get to hearth and home, you're pooped!
How do you solve this problem? I know your family is important to you, but they're also understanding of your situation, and as a result you often take advantage of that fact!
What to do?
Well, first you need to realize that you DO sometime take your family for granted; having made that first step, you can only go forward...
STEP ONE:
Make whatever you do is FUN! Never lose sight of that fact - for example, if you decide to send your spouse flowers, candy, or balloons, DON'T include your name.
Instead, send it "From a secret admirer"...and on the way home, pick up a romantic card, and sign it the same way.
You'll like the result!
Set aside 30 minutes every day to help your spouse and children in some way...you can cook dinner (something you LIKE to cook), play video games, or just take a WALK together!
STEP TWO:
Find out what is IMPORTANT to your family!
Do it casually, so you won't be noticed, or suspected in any way.
If you find your spouse likes pewter tea sets, buy one; then hide it somewhere, leaving little notes (5 or 6), each one leaving hints to the next note - the final note giving away the gift's hiding place!
STEP THREE:
Make it a habit - your family is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life, right?
Then let your actions SHOW that fact...by making their happiness important, they'll FEEL important!
And it'll all be because of YOU!
You ARE the most important thing to your spouse - they MARRIED you, you know...and if you've made misstakes, they'll love you through them!
Just keep letting them know you care - it's a FULLTIME job, but it can be FUN, too!
One more thing - never forget just how special you are! Special to your family, your friends, and ESPECIALLY to GOD!
Three steps to safeguarding your family...
Are you hurting your family?
Enlarge Image
If you're like me, working 2 jobs, volunteering for civic events, attending (and trying to support) your local church, by the time you get to hearth and home, you're pooped!
How do you solve this problem? I know your family is important to you, but they're also understanding of your situation, and as a result you often take advantage of that fact!
What to do?
Well, first you need to realize that you DO sometime take your family for granted; having made that first step, you can only go forward...
STEP ONE:
Make whatever you do is FUN! Never lose sight of that fact - for example, if you decide to send your spouse flowers, candy, or balloons, DON'T include your name.
Instead, send it "From a secret admirer"...and on the way home, pick up a romantic card, and sign it the same way.
You'll like the result!
Set aside 30 minutes every day to help your spouse and children in some way...you can cook dinner (something you LIKE to cook), play video games, or just take a WALK together!
STEP TWO:
Find out what is IMPORTANT to your family!
Do it casually, so you won't be noticed, or suspected in any way.
If you find your spouse likes pewter tea sets, buy one; then hide it somewhere, leaving little notes (5 or 6), each one leaving hints to the next note - the final note giving away the gift's hiding place!
STEP THREE:
Make it a habit - your family is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life, right?
Then let your actions SHOW that fact...by making their happiness important, they'll FEEL important!
And it'll all be because of YOU!
You ARE the most important thing to your spouse - they MARRIED you, you know...and if you've made misstakes, they'll love you through them!
Just keep letting them know you care - it's a FULLTIME job, but it can be FUN, too!
One more thing - never forget just how special you are! Special to your family, your friends, and ESPECIALLY to GOD!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Why I Think its not Essential to Dig into Your Spouse's History?
Why I Think its not Essential to Dig into Your Spouse's History?
This is where the big question comes; is it of benefit to dig into your spouses past? Is your spouses past important now? What are the implications of this past history to your relationship? Will it withstand the shock or it will be shaken to its very foundations? Remember every person alive today has a history to tell you included. Do not pretend to be holier than thou because you are not better in either way.
What is the necessity of unraveling old wounds. The past history of a person has its ugly side and its beautiful side. Many people focus on the ugly side and magnify it to blow it out of proportion. When sniffing into your spouse's history, consider that some incidents and occurrences are just a stage in life. As a person grows older his or her ideologies, vision, goals, aspirations and dreams change. Many people tend to rate a person with their past. It is suicidal to use your spouses past as a yardstick of his or her current status. No one is perfect and we have our own shortcomings. Everyone can do a mistake in a life and learn from it. A person can change from a bad person into a better person or vice versa. I am saying this because when a person's past is dug up, we only pay attention to the dark side. We forget the person has a good side also.
Opening classified files from your spouse's history is not healthy for the relationship. It might affect the way you feel about your partner. You had idolized your partner as a person of unquestionable integrity. You worshiped the very ground that your spouse strode on. Then your spouse's history which you were craving for starts unfolding before your eyes. Imagine the disbelief, shock, denial and anger that will engulf you. You start seeing your spouse from a very different perspective, from a different angle. You start realizing that your spouse has many sides and faces. There is a face you know and another side you do not know. The trust and goodwill you had built for all this time is adversely affected. It goes to waste. You feel your spouse is a stranger to you. Why not be prudent enough and accept your spouse as at the current value!
Do you realize that your spouse's history can destroy your marriage? It reveals what you didn't know about your spouse. The history of your spouse might rear it's ugly head and force you to run for the hills. It is a situation which can make you regret why you opened the can of worms in the first place. Some revelations are so clandestine. They will make you feel like you had been blindfolded for all this time. Why not remain in your blindfolds and grow Grey waiting for the day you will meet your maker.
This is where the big question comes; is it of benefit to dig into your spouses past? Is your spouses past important now? What are the implications of this past history to your relationship? Will it withstand the shock or it will be shaken to its very foundations? Remember every person alive today has a history to tell you included. Do not pretend to be holier than thou because you are not better in either way.
What is the necessity of unraveling old wounds. The past history of a person has its ugly side and its beautiful side. Many people focus on the ugly side and magnify it to blow it out of proportion. When sniffing into your spouse's history, consider that some incidents and occurrences are just a stage in life. As a person grows older his or her ideologies, vision, goals, aspirations and dreams change. Many people tend to rate a person with their past. It is suicidal to use your spouses past as a yardstick of his or her current status. No one is perfect and we have our own shortcomings. Everyone can do a mistake in a life and learn from it. A person can change from a bad person into a better person or vice versa. I am saying this because when a person's past is dug up, we only pay attention to the dark side. We forget the person has a good side also.
Opening classified files from your spouse's history is not healthy for the relationship. It might affect the way you feel about your partner. You had idolized your partner as a person of unquestionable integrity. You worshiped the very ground that your spouse strode on. Then your spouse's history which you were craving for starts unfolding before your eyes. Imagine the disbelief, shock, denial and anger that will engulf you. You start seeing your spouse from a very different perspective, from a different angle. You start realizing that your spouse has many sides and faces. There is a face you know and another side you do not know. The trust and goodwill you had built for all this time is adversely affected. It goes to waste. You feel your spouse is a stranger to you. Why not be prudent enough and accept your spouse as at the current value!
Do you realize that your spouse's history can destroy your marriage? It reveals what you didn't know about your spouse. The history of your spouse might rear it's ugly head and force you to run for the hills. It is a situation which can make you regret why you opened the can of worms in the first place. Some revelations are so clandestine. They will make you feel like you had been blindfolded for all this time. Why not remain in your blindfolds and grow Grey waiting for the day you will meet your maker.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Family Units are Built On Relationships
Family Units are Built On Relationships
So many families find it difficult to spend quality time together. It's either TV, video games, the Internet or something else that keeps us from communicating effectively with one another. What can parents do to help 'bond the family' together, to improve communication and have fun again?
Family Units are Built On Relationships
Enlarge Image
A healthy family is built on good relationships. Maintaining good relationships with one's children is not always easy and requires conscious effort and skill. There is much that you as a parent can do to foster good relationships with your children. This includes:
Making a conscious effort to build and maintain a sound relationship with your children;
Making time to spend with them; and
Spending time with them engaged in activates, playing games, having fun and helping them acquire new skills.
With this in mind, a group of professionals from business, education and psychology developed 'The Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course' which is a structured yet flexible program designed to assist parents in ensuring their children's future success and happiness. It focuses on two main areas:
1. Providing children with the necessary knowledge, skills and characteristics to achieve success in later life.
2. Producing a bond of love, respect and understanding between parents and children through positive interaction.
The course is essentially a clear and practical step-by-step guide, which positively involves parents with their children - as partners. Children between the ages of 6 and 14 will derive the maximum benefit from the course and parents don't need to have any specialist knowledge of business.
The basis of The Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course consists of a wide variety of realistic business projects, which parents and children take on together. In the process of carrying out the various projects, children acquire the critical business, financial and supporting skills, knowledge and characteristics in an enjoyable and challenging environment.
The Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course a very useful, structured way to achieve the three goals mentioned at the start of this article, since it provides a vehicle whereby you can spend time with your children in the context of activity and fun while at the same time teaching your children valuable life skills.
How to use the course:
You will benefit most from this course if you adhere to the following principles:
Keep your eye on the process not the content of what you child is learning. The experience gained in being part of a business project is far more important than the specific details of what they are doing.
Keep your long-term intention in mind when working with your child. Do not expect your child to be the "perfect little person" or the perfect businessperson - these are long-term goals that take many, many years to achieve. See this exercise as a part of the process of helping your child grow and develop into a well-functioning happy adult.
Allow your child to make decisions and to feel the consequences of these choices. Children need to feel that they have choices and have control over their lives. Wherever possible allow your children to choose - of course you can encourage them to think about the consequences of their actions and decisions and to make their decisions with full knowledge of what they are doing and the consequences of their choices.
Build your child's confidence and self-esteem by stressing successes. Success should be measured not by the outcome achieved but by the amount of effort and the amount of learning that has taken place.
Be aware of the messages and beliefs you transmit to your child about the world. Common messages and beliefs that parents pass on to their children include: The world is harsh. Life is unfair. People cannot be trusted. Life is full of opportunities. No matter what happens you will be able to handle it. People are basically kind and good. Some of these messages are negative and some are positive. What do you want your child to think about the world? What messages do you want to pass on? How are you going to pass these messages on?
Make time to work on this course with your children. This time should be set aside and should be made a priority.
Have fun while working through the material. Children learn best when they are enjoying themselves.
Be sure to check the course benefits at: http://www.ka-chingworld.com/programmes/
Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course
Home based course teaching Entrepreneurship and Life-Skills to your children
By Gregory Bunyard
Published: 2/25/2006
So many families find it difficult to spend quality time together. It's either TV, video games, the Internet or something else that keeps us from communicating effectively with one another. What can parents do to help 'bond the family' together, to improve communication and have fun again?
Family Units are Built On Relationships
Enlarge Image
A healthy family is built on good relationships. Maintaining good relationships with one's children is not always easy and requires conscious effort and skill. There is much that you as a parent can do to foster good relationships with your children. This includes:
Making a conscious effort to build and maintain a sound relationship with your children;
Making time to spend with them; and
Spending time with them engaged in activates, playing games, having fun and helping them acquire new skills.
With this in mind, a group of professionals from business, education and psychology developed 'The Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course' which is a structured yet flexible program designed to assist parents in ensuring their children's future success and happiness. It focuses on two main areas:
1. Providing children with the necessary knowledge, skills and characteristics to achieve success in later life.
2. Producing a bond of love, respect and understanding between parents and children through positive interaction.
The course is essentially a clear and practical step-by-step guide, which positively involves parents with their children - as partners. Children between the ages of 6 and 14 will derive the maximum benefit from the course and parents don't need to have any specialist knowledge of business.
The basis of The Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course consists of a wide variety of realistic business projects, which parents and children take on together. In the process of carrying out the various projects, children acquire the critical business, financial and supporting skills, knowledge and characteristics in an enjoyable and challenging environment.
The Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course a very useful, structured way to achieve the three goals mentioned at the start of this article, since it provides a vehicle whereby you can spend time with your children in the context of activity and fun while at the same time teaching your children valuable life skills.
How to use the course:
You will benefit most from this course if you adhere to the following principles:
Keep your eye on the process not the content of what you child is learning. The experience gained in being part of a business project is far more important than the specific details of what they are doing.
Keep your long-term intention in mind when working with your child. Do not expect your child to be the "perfect little person" or the perfect businessperson - these are long-term goals that take many, many years to achieve. See this exercise as a part of the process of helping your child grow and develop into a well-functioning happy adult.
Allow your child to make decisions and to feel the consequences of these choices. Children need to feel that they have choices and have control over their lives. Wherever possible allow your children to choose - of course you can encourage them to think about the consequences of their actions and decisions and to make their decisions with full knowledge of what they are doing and the consequences of their choices.
Build your child's confidence and self-esteem by stressing successes. Success should be measured not by the outcome achieved but by the amount of effort and the amount of learning that has taken place.
Be aware of the messages and beliefs you transmit to your child about the world. Common messages and beliefs that parents pass on to their children include: The world is harsh. Life is unfair. People cannot be trusted. Life is full of opportunities. No matter what happens you will be able to handle it. People are basically kind and good. Some of these messages are negative and some are positive. What do you want your child to think about the world? What messages do you want to pass on? How are you going to pass these messages on?
Make time to work on this course with your children. This time should be set aside and should be made a priority.
Have fun while working through the material. Children learn best when they are enjoying themselves.
Be sure to check the course benefits at: http://www.ka-chingworld.com/programmes/
Ka-Ching! Business Parenting Course
Home based course teaching Entrepreneurship and Life-Skills to your children
By Gregory Bunyard
Published: 2/25/2006
Friday, March 13, 2009
Stepfamilies can live happily ever after
Stepfamilies can live happily ever after
Stepfamilies can live happily ever after. Is it easy? Not judging by the nearly 66 percent divorce rate remarried families experience. Is it possible? Yes. Is it worth it? Take Tom and Tracey, married 18 years. Tom brought a 12-year-old son to the new marriage and Tracey brought four children ranging in age from 4 to 13 years.
"Falling in love, getting married and dreaming 'we' would all live happily ever after was the easy part of step-parenting. The challenges came when we up rooted children from their homes and communities and placed them into the unknown, not even aware of their hurts and losses. We began living with children only a parent could love and found many problems and much stress," the couple said.
But, with the help of their faith, their sons grew into adulthood with a genuine love and concern for their parents and each other. The challenges a couple will face when putting two families together can be formidable. They include:
* Children still grieving for the loss of their original family and who are not about to accept another adult in a parental role.
* Trying to find time to nurture a new marriage in the midst of the chaos created by bringing two families (often unwillingly) together.
* Two parents coming together with different expectations of children, rules of acceptable behavior and emotional ties. Trying to provide mutual and agreed-upon parental guidance to all the children in the family can be difficult.
The term "blended" family often adds to the confusion and disappointment because members of a stepfamily rarely blend quickly into one smooth mixture. Ron Deal, a nationally recognized authority on helping stepfamilies be successful, compares bonding a stepfamily with cooking in a crock-pot: It takes a great deal of time and low heat to bring the ingredients together.
In the successful stepfamily, former alliances between children and their natural parents are respected while the natural parent slowly opens the door for the stepparent to become part of the mix. The end result can be a group of people living together who have come to value and respect each other and who can live together in harmony.
Alvaro Castillo has been writing about health and specializing pregnancy along with how to deal with the first year of their baby’s life for 10 years, helping women with positive results. For more information check out his website at http://www.myhomeparent.com or visit his blog http://myhomeparent.blogspot.com to share your opinion
Stepfamilies can live happily ever after. Is it easy? Not judging by the nearly 66 percent divorce rate remarried families experience. Is it possible? Yes. Is it worth it? Take Tom and Tracey, married 18 years. Tom brought a 12-year-old son to the new marriage and Tracey brought four children ranging in age from 4 to 13 years.
"Falling in love, getting married and dreaming 'we' would all live happily ever after was the easy part of step-parenting. The challenges came when we up rooted children from their homes and communities and placed them into the unknown, not even aware of their hurts and losses. We began living with children only a parent could love and found many problems and much stress," the couple said.
But, with the help of their faith, their sons grew into adulthood with a genuine love and concern for their parents and each other. The challenges a couple will face when putting two families together can be formidable. They include:
* Children still grieving for the loss of their original family and who are not about to accept another adult in a parental role.
* Trying to find time to nurture a new marriage in the midst of the chaos created by bringing two families (often unwillingly) together.
* Two parents coming together with different expectations of children, rules of acceptable behavior and emotional ties. Trying to provide mutual and agreed-upon parental guidance to all the children in the family can be difficult.
The term "blended" family often adds to the confusion and disappointment because members of a stepfamily rarely blend quickly into one smooth mixture. Ron Deal, a nationally recognized authority on helping stepfamilies be successful, compares bonding a stepfamily with cooking in a crock-pot: It takes a great deal of time and low heat to bring the ingredients together.
In the successful stepfamily, former alliances between children and their natural parents are respected while the natural parent slowly opens the door for the stepparent to become part of the mix. The end result can be a group of people living together who have come to value and respect each other and who can live together in harmony.
Alvaro Castillo has been writing about health and specializing pregnancy along with how to deal with the first year of their baby’s life for 10 years, helping women with positive results. For more information check out his website at http://www.myhomeparent.com or visit his blog http://myhomeparent.blogspot.com to share your opinion
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Family Influences
Family Influences
Everybody has a family of some kind. Some are great. Some are challenging. It’s up to you how you accept their influences.
Each of us was born with a family of one type or another. If the family you got was loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. If the family you got was not loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. The designer of this universe would never be cruel enough to ask you to do something knowing you were not capable, so if you’ve got a load on your plate, it must be because you are capable of handling it.
Let’s talk family now. I have a concept of what family should be: these are the folks who know me, love me, accept me, are always supportive, applaud my successes, support me when I falter, adore my children, never criticize, look for ways to help me. Is that what your concept is? Now I wrote that sentence tongue in cheek because that is not what some families do. Many families are critical. Some are downright destructive.
What matters is what you do about the concept of family. Our initial relationship with our family is one of dependency. We are little kids and we are dependent on our parents for emotional, physical, spiritual and financial support. We need that. Unlike some of the wild critters, we are not born quite so self sufficient. We are not made to stand, walk, and nurse within hours of being born. We have families who help us to unfold the skills and strengths to eventually take care of ourselves.
Because of this early state of dependency, when we eventually strike out to assert our independency, our families take offense. They think we are not considerate or grateful for all they’ve done. They think they still have the vote for our lives and they are not shy at all about exercising their right to vote.
Developing a firm stand for ourselves as individuals with our families is one of life’s challenges. Each of us has a right to become who we think we should become, and no one has the right to interfere with that process. So they never do, right? Ha! You know they are in there meddling with that process frequently.
What to do? It’s an opportunity for you to exercise the strong voice of your own vote. In your life, your vote is the only one that counts. In your children’s life, you and your ex are the only ones who have a vote. If you’ve got a family who is highly skilled in sharing their opinion with you, you now have the opportunity to find your own words to get this message across "Thank you very much. I’ll be making the final decision." My virtual assistant told me that her father used to tell her "You listen to me and then you do as you damn well please." She always answered him "Yes, Dad, but I always consider what you say." It worked for her.
If you don’t see yourself as the end-of-the-road authority in your life, I suspect it is time for you to strengthen that role. Like an actor, study the dialog, practice in front of a mirror, have a friend read the lines with you. Do whatever it takes to get comfortable in this role before you have a chance to use your skills real time. When real time happens, you’ll be ready. Oh the first few times that you assert yourself, your listeners will more than likely be shocked. You’ve changed the pattern! You’re no longer their pawn. You’re becoming your own person. That is one of the gifts from divorce: you get to unfold a whole new sense about your Self and it’s always an improved model.
So be grateful that your family is there, running you through your paces. You are the authority in your life and the lives of your children. Your family had the opportunity to exercise this authority when they were the parents, and now it’s your turn to be l supportive as you see it. Keep firm convictions about the new role you are assuming. Be loving. Listen with attention. Know you’re capable And then do as you damn well please.
By Len Stauffenger
Published: 5/30/2008
Everybody has a family of some kind. Some are great. Some are challenging. It’s up to you how you accept their influences.
Each of us was born with a family of one type or another. If the family you got was loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. If the family you got was not loving and supportive, that is what you could handle. The designer of this universe would never be cruel enough to ask you to do something knowing you were not capable, so if you’ve got a load on your plate, it must be because you are capable of handling it.
Let’s talk family now. I have a concept of what family should be: these are the folks who know me, love me, accept me, are always supportive, applaud my successes, support me when I falter, adore my children, never criticize, look for ways to help me. Is that what your concept is? Now I wrote that sentence tongue in cheek because that is not what some families do. Many families are critical. Some are downright destructive.
What matters is what you do about the concept of family. Our initial relationship with our family is one of dependency. We are little kids and we are dependent on our parents for emotional, physical, spiritual and financial support. We need that. Unlike some of the wild critters, we are not born quite so self sufficient. We are not made to stand, walk, and nurse within hours of being born. We have families who help us to unfold the skills and strengths to eventually take care of ourselves.
Because of this early state of dependency, when we eventually strike out to assert our independency, our families take offense. They think we are not considerate or grateful for all they’ve done. They think they still have the vote for our lives and they are not shy at all about exercising their right to vote.
Developing a firm stand for ourselves as individuals with our families is one of life’s challenges. Each of us has a right to become who we think we should become, and no one has the right to interfere with that process. So they never do, right? Ha! You know they are in there meddling with that process frequently.
What to do? It’s an opportunity for you to exercise the strong voice of your own vote. In your life, your vote is the only one that counts. In your children’s life, you and your ex are the only ones who have a vote. If you’ve got a family who is highly skilled in sharing their opinion with you, you now have the opportunity to find your own words to get this message across "Thank you very much. I’ll be making the final decision." My virtual assistant told me that her father used to tell her "You listen to me and then you do as you damn well please." She always answered him "Yes, Dad, but I always consider what you say." It worked for her.
If you don’t see yourself as the end-of-the-road authority in your life, I suspect it is time for you to strengthen that role. Like an actor, study the dialog, practice in front of a mirror, have a friend read the lines with you. Do whatever it takes to get comfortable in this role before you have a chance to use your skills real time. When real time happens, you’ll be ready. Oh the first few times that you assert yourself, your listeners will more than likely be shocked. You’ve changed the pattern! You’re no longer their pawn. You’re becoming your own person. That is one of the gifts from divorce: you get to unfold a whole new sense about your Self and it’s always an improved model.
So be grateful that your family is there, running you through your paces. You are the authority in your life and the lives of your children. Your family had the opportunity to exercise this authority when they were the parents, and now it’s your turn to be l supportive as you see it. Keep firm convictions about the new role you are assuming. Be loving. Listen with attention. Know you’re capable And then do as you damn well please.
By Len Stauffenger
Published: 5/30/2008
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Mother Daughter Conflict: Why is my Mother so Difficult? 3 Insights to Help
Mother Daughter Conflict: Why is my Mother so Difficult? 3 Insights to Help
Do you have a difficult mother? Having a strained relationship with your Mom can eat at your heart. Everyone yearns for a deeply nurturing and supportive bond with the woman who carried them under her heart for 9 months. When reality doesn't measure up to the fairy tale fantasy, you can still be working towards a healthy relationship regardless of your circumstances. Here are 3 Insights to help you move towards inner peace.
The Daughter and Mother relationship is foundational to how well balanced you grow up to be. Your Mom is supposed to love you unconditionally, and support you no matter what. She should be your biggest cheerleader and always, always be there for you when you get a boo-boo. That is her job.
Everyone wants to get along with her Mom. You are biologically programmed to look to her for nurturing. When she isn't capable of providing that nurturing, it upsets a primal balance.
I am not about to tell you how to fix your relationship, I would however, like to offer some insights that may give you some peace and soften your heart.
You Can't Give What You Don't Have
Your Mom learned how to nurture from the line of women before her. If those relationships weren't solid and warm and nurturing, your Mom wouldn't have gotten her needs met, she wouldn't have learned what an intimate, loving Mother/Child bond feels like.
For clues of this, look back to the level of intimacy on your Mom's side of the family. How does she relate to her Mom? How does she talk about her Grandmother?
You Can't Change Your Mom. You Can't Create In Some One Else's Reality
Ok... let's say that for whatever reasons, you have determined that your Mom is not capable of giving you the level nurturing and support you would like. Continuing to set her up to do what she can't do is as helpful as banging your head against the wall. She will continue to fail your tests and you will continue to be disappointed.
Turn your focus instead to having a healthy relationship given your circumstances. Take your focus off your Mom's shortcomings and look for her strengths instead. If that is not realistic given your current state of being, at least work at letting her off your hook.
Time to Put On Your Big Girl Attitude
Once you are a woman you need to take responsibility for your own energy and happiness. Your level of joy is your responsibility. If there is baggage from the past, do what you need to do to sort it out, release what needs to be released, resolve what needs resolving.
Educate yourself about codependent sobriety. Learn what behaviors are healthy and which are not. Stand up and be the healthy nurturing woman you want to be.
Do Not Forward a Dysfunction
It should go without saying that Ii you are a Mom yourself, make sure that you are not passing the legacy on to your child(ren). You are solely responsible for your own integrity.
You can learn to be nurturing, you can learn to love unconditionally.
Be the woman you want to be. You can heal all manner of wounding when you decide that your personal energy and happiness matter more to you than holding grudges, being judgmental and victim thinking, Namaste.
20 Profound and Provocative Journal Prompts
Personal Development Journal Prompts
By Joyce Lee
Published: 10/11/2008
Do you have a difficult mother? Having a strained relationship with your Mom can eat at your heart. Everyone yearns for a deeply nurturing and supportive bond with the woman who carried them under her heart for 9 months. When reality doesn't measure up to the fairy tale fantasy, you can still be working towards a healthy relationship regardless of your circumstances. Here are 3 Insights to help you move towards inner peace.
The Daughter and Mother relationship is foundational to how well balanced you grow up to be. Your Mom is supposed to love you unconditionally, and support you no matter what. She should be your biggest cheerleader and always, always be there for you when you get a boo-boo. That is her job.
Everyone wants to get along with her Mom. You are biologically programmed to look to her for nurturing. When she isn't capable of providing that nurturing, it upsets a primal balance.
I am not about to tell you how to fix your relationship, I would however, like to offer some insights that may give you some peace and soften your heart.
You Can't Give What You Don't Have
Your Mom learned how to nurture from the line of women before her. If those relationships weren't solid and warm and nurturing, your Mom wouldn't have gotten her needs met, she wouldn't have learned what an intimate, loving Mother/Child bond feels like.
For clues of this, look back to the level of intimacy on your Mom's side of the family. How does she relate to her Mom? How does she talk about her Grandmother?
You Can't Change Your Mom. You Can't Create In Some One Else's Reality
Ok... let's say that for whatever reasons, you have determined that your Mom is not capable of giving you the level nurturing and support you would like. Continuing to set her up to do what she can't do is as helpful as banging your head against the wall. She will continue to fail your tests and you will continue to be disappointed.
Turn your focus instead to having a healthy relationship given your circumstances. Take your focus off your Mom's shortcomings and look for her strengths instead. If that is not realistic given your current state of being, at least work at letting her off your hook.
Time to Put On Your Big Girl Attitude
Once you are a woman you need to take responsibility for your own energy and happiness. Your level of joy is your responsibility. If there is baggage from the past, do what you need to do to sort it out, release what needs to be released, resolve what needs resolving.
Educate yourself about codependent sobriety. Learn what behaviors are healthy and which are not. Stand up and be the healthy nurturing woman you want to be.
Do Not Forward a Dysfunction
It should go without saying that Ii you are a Mom yourself, make sure that you are not passing the legacy on to your child(ren). You are solely responsible for your own integrity.
You can learn to be nurturing, you can learn to love unconditionally.
Be the woman you want to be. You can heal all manner of wounding when you decide that your personal energy and happiness matter more to you than holding grudges, being judgmental and victim thinking, Namaste.
20 Profound and Provocative Journal Prompts
Personal Development Journal Prompts
By Joyce Lee
Published: 10/11/2008
Monday, March 9, 2009
Dysfunctional Family as a Cause of Difficult Childhood
Dysfunctional Family as a Cause of Difficult Childhood
One of the most punishing tasks would be to identify and admit that a person was brought up in a dysfunctional family. Acknowledging this fact is however crucial to outgrow such relationship issues and transform oneself into an emotionally stable and happy person.
Dysfunctional Family as a Cause of Difficult Childhood
Dysfunctional family is a disastrous unit where repeated malfunctioning is a rule and its effects can be realized far later when they achieve an enormous form of destructive psychological effects on children. The substandard environment meted out to the child by such parents may attribute to the unpleasant memories of their own childhood.
Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family
* Lack of trust and absence of security
* Absence of the feeling of love and belonging
* Lack of understanding between family members
* Parents fail to nurture and support the children
* Needs and desires of the child are always neglected
* Verbal, physical, or sexual abuse may be a part of family
* Family member(s) create an unpredictably unhealthy environment
* Disputes develop on petty issues like money, love, work or almost anything
* Negative dealing of stressful situations
* Family values and rules are rigid and illogical
* In rare cases, over protecting the child may affect the child
Serious Impact on Child Psychology
Parents’ distorted attitudes have a traumatic effect on the children and such unnatural relationships become the norms of child’s life. Every child displays different manifestations while adapting to deficient parents. Some of these traits are present singly or in combination:
* Feeling of loneliness
* Being too hard on oneself
* Find hard to relax and enjoy
* Difficult expressing feelings
* Extremist responses and decisions
* Problems forming intimate relationships
* Adopt themselves to abusive relations
* Concerned of others’ responsibilities
* Apprehensive to seek approval
* Taking over more than they can handle
* Incompetent handling of anger, frustration and hatred
Children Conforming to Atypical Roles
Child having a sensitivity threshold that’s real low may exhibit disorders like study problems, drug or alcohol addiction, and other disturbances in the family. In some cases, the family dysfunction is attributed to the problem child even if he is not causing significant trouble. Some growing kids can use humor to rescue themselves and act as an entertainer in groups, while few love to stay in complete social isolation. Rarely some children play more than one of the above roles causing increasing pain and confusion.
Good Parenting - Spot the Tell-tale Signs
None of the parents wish to really hurt their children by choice, but they should intentionally be more sensitive to child’s feelings. Family disputes are an inseparable part but should not be an accepted pattern. Each person should also preserve his own space and not invade others’ while being free to express, discuss and opine. One can focus on the plight of the problem child, the over-achiever or the silent sufferer. However, there is one thing in common applicable to each of these personality types i.e. an attempt to understand them, being a friend than being a parent or sibling.
Support their Needs and Help the Child Recover
One prominent accomplishment of difficult childhood is that the child is fine tuned to being adjustable that helps him pull through adversity. Seeking support from parents, friends and other companions whom you can trust helps a lot. Express yourself and most importantly keep yourself away from deficient members who are likely to hurt you. Accept that your accomplices too have limitations and react optimistically. Take a break from daily chores to involve in your favorite hobby and recreational activities.
The best way to prevent dysfunctional relationship is to detect it at the earliest, find ways to cope with it through communicating, counseling and transform the conflict into productive life plan. Empowering yourself through this tough situation will transform you into an outstanding person and help live life to the fullest.
One of the most punishing tasks would be to identify and admit that a person was brought up in a dysfunctional family. Acknowledging this fact is however crucial to outgrow such relationship issues and transform oneself into an emotionally stable and happy person.
Dysfunctional Family as a Cause of Difficult Childhood
Dysfunctional family is a disastrous unit where repeated malfunctioning is a rule and its effects can be realized far later when they achieve an enormous form of destructive psychological effects on children. The substandard environment meted out to the child by such parents may attribute to the unpleasant memories of their own childhood.
Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family
* Lack of trust and absence of security
* Absence of the feeling of love and belonging
* Lack of understanding between family members
* Parents fail to nurture and support the children
* Needs and desires of the child are always neglected
* Verbal, physical, or sexual abuse may be a part of family
* Family member(s) create an unpredictably unhealthy environment
* Disputes develop on petty issues like money, love, work or almost anything
* Negative dealing of stressful situations
* Family values and rules are rigid and illogical
* In rare cases, over protecting the child may affect the child
Serious Impact on Child Psychology
Parents’ distorted attitudes have a traumatic effect on the children and such unnatural relationships become the norms of child’s life. Every child displays different manifestations while adapting to deficient parents. Some of these traits are present singly or in combination:
* Feeling of loneliness
* Being too hard on oneself
* Find hard to relax and enjoy
* Difficult expressing feelings
* Extremist responses and decisions
* Problems forming intimate relationships
* Adopt themselves to abusive relations
* Concerned of others’ responsibilities
* Apprehensive to seek approval
* Taking over more than they can handle
* Incompetent handling of anger, frustration and hatred
Children Conforming to Atypical Roles
Child having a sensitivity threshold that’s real low may exhibit disorders like study problems, drug or alcohol addiction, and other disturbances in the family. In some cases, the family dysfunction is attributed to the problem child even if he is not causing significant trouble. Some growing kids can use humor to rescue themselves and act as an entertainer in groups, while few love to stay in complete social isolation. Rarely some children play more than one of the above roles causing increasing pain and confusion.
Good Parenting - Spot the Tell-tale Signs
None of the parents wish to really hurt their children by choice, but they should intentionally be more sensitive to child’s feelings. Family disputes are an inseparable part but should not be an accepted pattern. Each person should also preserve his own space and not invade others’ while being free to express, discuss and opine. One can focus on the plight of the problem child, the over-achiever or the silent sufferer. However, there is one thing in common applicable to each of these personality types i.e. an attempt to understand them, being a friend than being a parent or sibling.
Support their Needs and Help the Child Recover
One prominent accomplishment of difficult childhood is that the child is fine tuned to being adjustable that helps him pull through adversity. Seeking support from parents, friends and other companions whom you can trust helps a lot. Express yourself and most importantly keep yourself away from deficient members who are likely to hurt you. Accept that your accomplices too have limitations and react optimistically. Take a break from daily chores to involve in your favorite hobby and recreational activities.
The best way to prevent dysfunctional relationship is to detect it at the earliest, find ways to cope with it through communicating, counseling and transform the conflict into productive life plan. Empowering yourself through this tough situation will transform you into an outstanding person and help live life to the fullest.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Family Quotes
Family Quotes
What is the importance of a family in your life? Read on, for some family quotes that can inspire and motivate you and even tickle your funny bone.
Family Quotes
The importance of being with a family is probably realized by most individuals only when are quite a few miles away from their near and dear ones. Therefore, I have made a compilation of some family quotes that can inspire you or even cause a chuckle! Read on to know some memorable quotes about family.
Family Quotes:
"A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home." - George Moore
"Bear in mind that the wonderful things you learn in your schools are the work of many generations. All this is put in your hands as your inheritance in order that you may receive it, honor it, add to it, and one day faithfully hand it on to your children." - Albert Einstein
"No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?" - Lee Iacocca
"The family is the nucleus of civilization." - Ariel and Will Durant
"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." - Bertrand Russell
"Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently." - Chinese Proverb (Sometimes attributed to Confucius)
"Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements." - Elizabeth II
"Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground." - Francis Bacon
"A man can't make a place for himself in the sun if he keeps taking refuge under the family tree." - Helen Keller
"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." - Jane Howard
"All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." - Leo Tolstoy
"Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others." - Sidonie Gruenberg
"What God is to the world, parents are to their children." – Philo
"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." - Richard Bach
"The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing" – Unknown
"In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future." - Alex Haley
"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich." - Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford
"The family is one of nature’s masterpieces." - George Santayana
"We have to show leadership in protecting our environment so that we have a future for our children and grandchildren." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Family is the most important thing in the world." - Princess Diana
"A family in harmony will prosper in everything." – Chinese proverb
"The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other." – Mario Puzo (The Family)
What is the importance of a family in your life? Read on, for some family quotes that can inspire and motivate you and even tickle your funny bone.
Family Quotes
The importance of being with a family is probably realized by most individuals only when are quite a few miles away from their near and dear ones. Therefore, I have made a compilation of some family quotes that can inspire you or even cause a chuckle! Read on to know some memorable quotes about family.
Family Quotes:
"A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home." - George Moore
"Bear in mind that the wonderful things you learn in your schools are the work of many generations. All this is put in your hands as your inheritance in order that you may receive it, honor it, add to it, and one day faithfully hand it on to your children." - Albert Einstein
"No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?" - Lee Iacocca
"The family is the nucleus of civilization." - Ariel and Will Durant
"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." - Bertrand Russell
"Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently." - Chinese Proverb (Sometimes attributed to Confucius)
"Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements." - Elizabeth II
"Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground." - Francis Bacon
"A man can't make a place for himself in the sun if he keeps taking refuge under the family tree." - Helen Keller
"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." - Jane Howard
"All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." - Leo Tolstoy
"Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others." - Sidonie Gruenberg
"What God is to the world, parents are to their children." – Philo
"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof." - Richard Bach
"The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing" – Unknown
"In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future." - Alex Haley
"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich." - Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford
"The family is one of nature’s masterpieces." - George Santayana
"We have to show leadership in protecting our environment so that we have a future for our children and grandchildren." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Family is the most important thing in the world." - Princess Diana
"A family in harmony will prosper in everything." – Chinese proverb
"The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other." – Mario Puzo (The Family)
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Life Lessons for My Sisters
Life Lessons for My Sisters
How to Make Wise Choices and Live a Life You Love! Searching for a life blessed with peace and happiness? Longing to move past old expectations and learn to live in the moment?
Life Lessons for My Sisters
By Natasha Munson
Published by Hyperion
May 2005; $11.95US/$15.95CAN; 1-4013-0805-8
Your expectations determine your reality.
Be the chooser, not the chosen.
Don't try to fix anyone.
Love yourself first.
You are what you believe.
Searching for a life blessed with peace and happiness? Longing to move past old expectations and learn to live in the moment? Life Lessons for My Sisters offers warm encouragement and refreshingly straightforward guidance for women who want to live a more meaningful life. Author and motivational speaker Natasha Munson wrote this book to help young black women avoid many of the pitfalls she encountered on her path to adulthood, but her sage advice on how to live a life you love resonates equally with seekers of all ages and backgrounds. In pithy, inspirational chapters, each concluding with a wise observation about life, Life Lessons for My Sisters tells it not only like it is, but like it should be.
Author
Natasha Munson is a motivational speaker with a focus on empowering the community one spirit at a time. She resides in Atlanta, Georgia.
Reviews
"Life Lessons is not only for 'sisters' but anyone searching for the answer to what matters most."
--Dennis Kimbro, author of What Makes the Great Great
"Few books say it better or simpler than this one. Life Lessons uncomplicates success and puts the choices at your fingertips in a language everyone can understand. A must-read for all those who are serious about success at home, at work, and in the community."
--George Fraser, author of Success Runs in Our Race
"Natasha Munson has gleaned wisdom that flows through the power of her pen. Her words will soothe your soul, uplift your spirit, encourage your heart, and leave you bubbling over with hope and inspiration!"
--Marina Woods, Good Girl Bookclub
Excerpt
The following is an excerpt from the book Life Lessons for My Sisters: How to Make Wise Choices and Live a Life You Love!
WHO OR WHAT IS GOD?
God is a spiritual being that exists within you, within others, and within the world. God is the force that created you and everything in this world. God created the world as a place for man and nature to coincide.
God is not a wrathful, vengeful being. He is not a being for you to be afraid of. God created everything in nature to work with and complement everything else. Sunsets, mountains, and the earth itself are things of beauty. A being that created all these wonderful things is not something to fear. You can have awe for the works of God. But to be fearful of God limits our relationship with Him. God is a loving being you should love.
In the same way that all things in nature complement one another, humans are also here to complement one another. That means that life is about learning and about giving. All you have to do in this life is learn about yourself and give what you know. Life is really not difficult if you look at it in the simplistic terms God has given us.
You learn in this life through your experiences. Those experiences shape your life, your character, your values, your beliefs, your goals, your love, and your reality. While you are going through your life lessons, there will be a goal you want to fulfill. This goal is your reason for being, because, while you are here to learn, you are also here to fulfill a purpose. Fulfilling that purpose is like completing an agreement with God. He gave you a desire and you have to achieve it.
When you fulfill that dream, your spiritual purpose, you are giving the most beautiful thing to the world. You are giving yourself as a completely fulfilled person. This is the reason you are here: to learn, to give, to fulfill your purpose.
Your purpose is what you most desire. Any ambition, any goal is acceptable. Whether it's to start a day care center or become an entertainment lawyer. The outcome is still the same -- you are in a position to help others.
To always remember your purpose, you have to remember that God is within you. Since God is the creator, this means that you are, in a way, the co-creator of your life. You can create the life you want by simply believing you must and can achieve it. Whatever you focus on and work toward, you will achieve.
Fulfilling your purpose is a spiritual act. Spirituality is about looking within and looking at the world. The world is beautiful. You will see it if you take the time to truly look at the world. It's easy to see just the negative things and the bitter people and think of the world as ugly. But the world becomes ugly because people don't realize that they are the co-creators of their lives. No one has to remain miserable or unhappy, it's all a choice.
Really look at the world, the trees, the oceans, the mountains. All of it is beautiful and designed for a specific purpose. Everything automatically works well together. Your responsibility is to fulfill your purpose so that, in some way, you contribute to how the world works too.
One person can make a difference, and that is what you are here to do. If you touch the life of one person, you are creating a domino effect. That person will touch the life of another person, and so on. So always know that you fulfilling your purpose is necessary to the world.
LESSON
God is within you and therefore you have the power to create the life you want. When you create the life you want, your inner fulfillment and happiness will be passed on to others as an inspiration.
Copyright © 2005 Natasha Munson
For more information, please visit www.sisterlessons.com.
How to Make Wise Choices and Live a Life You Love! Searching for a life blessed with peace and happiness? Longing to move past old expectations and learn to live in the moment?
Life Lessons for My Sisters
By Natasha Munson
Published by Hyperion
May 2005; $11.95US/$15.95CAN; 1-4013-0805-8
Your expectations determine your reality.
Be the chooser, not the chosen.
Don't try to fix anyone.
Love yourself first.
You are what you believe.
Searching for a life blessed with peace and happiness? Longing to move past old expectations and learn to live in the moment? Life Lessons for My Sisters offers warm encouragement and refreshingly straightforward guidance for women who want to live a more meaningful life. Author and motivational speaker Natasha Munson wrote this book to help young black women avoid many of the pitfalls she encountered on her path to adulthood, but her sage advice on how to live a life you love resonates equally with seekers of all ages and backgrounds. In pithy, inspirational chapters, each concluding with a wise observation about life, Life Lessons for My Sisters tells it not only like it is, but like it should be.
Author
Natasha Munson is a motivational speaker with a focus on empowering the community one spirit at a time. She resides in Atlanta, Georgia.
Reviews
"Life Lessons is not only for 'sisters' but anyone searching for the answer to what matters most."
--Dennis Kimbro, author of What Makes the Great Great
"Few books say it better or simpler than this one. Life Lessons uncomplicates success and puts the choices at your fingertips in a language everyone can understand. A must-read for all those who are serious about success at home, at work, and in the community."
--George Fraser, author of Success Runs in Our Race
"Natasha Munson has gleaned wisdom that flows through the power of her pen. Her words will soothe your soul, uplift your spirit, encourage your heart, and leave you bubbling over with hope and inspiration!"
--Marina Woods, Good Girl Bookclub
Excerpt
The following is an excerpt from the book Life Lessons for My Sisters: How to Make Wise Choices and Live a Life You Love!
WHO OR WHAT IS GOD?
God is a spiritual being that exists within you, within others, and within the world. God is the force that created you and everything in this world. God created the world as a place for man and nature to coincide.
God is not a wrathful, vengeful being. He is not a being for you to be afraid of. God created everything in nature to work with and complement everything else. Sunsets, mountains, and the earth itself are things of beauty. A being that created all these wonderful things is not something to fear. You can have awe for the works of God. But to be fearful of God limits our relationship with Him. God is a loving being you should love.
In the same way that all things in nature complement one another, humans are also here to complement one another. That means that life is about learning and about giving. All you have to do in this life is learn about yourself and give what you know. Life is really not difficult if you look at it in the simplistic terms God has given us.
You learn in this life through your experiences. Those experiences shape your life, your character, your values, your beliefs, your goals, your love, and your reality. While you are going through your life lessons, there will be a goal you want to fulfill. This goal is your reason for being, because, while you are here to learn, you are also here to fulfill a purpose. Fulfilling that purpose is like completing an agreement with God. He gave you a desire and you have to achieve it.
When you fulfill that dream, your spiritual purpose, you are giving the most beautiful thing to the world. You are giving yourself as a completely fulfilled person. This is the reason you are here: to learn, to give, to fulfill your purpose.
Your purpose is what you most desire. Any ambition, any goal is acceptable. Whether it's to start a day care center or become an entertainment lawyer. The outcome is still the same -- you are in a position to help others.
To always remember your purpose, you have to remember that God is within you. Since God is the creator, this means that you are, in a way, the co-creator of your life. You can create the life you want by simply believing you must and can achieve it. Whatever you focus on and work toward, you will achieve.
Fulfilling your purpose is a spiritual act. Spirituality is about looking within and looking at the world. The world is beautiful. You will see it if you take the time to truly look at the world. It's easy to see just the negative things and the bitter people and think of the world as ugly. But the world becomes ugly because people don't realize that they are the co-creators of their lives. No one has to remain miserable or unhappy, it's all a choice.
Really look at the world, the trees, the oceans, the mountains. All of it is beautiful and designed for a specific purpose. Everything automatically works well together. Your responsibility is to fulfill your purpose so that, in some way, you contribute to how the world works too.
One person can make a difference, and that is what you are here to do. If you touch the life of one person, you are creating a domino effect. That person will touch the life of another person, and so on. So always know that you fulfilling your purpose is necessary to the world.
LESSON
God is within you and therefore you have the power to create the life you want. When you create the life you want, your inner fulfillment and happiness will be passed on to others as an inspiration.
Copyright © 2005 Natasha Munson
For more information, please visit www.sisterlessons.com.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The Blessing of Marriage: The Place of the Home in Child Training
The Blessing of Marriage: The Place of the Home in Child Training
Today, I will be talking about something that has robbed many from entering into the fullness of God’s blessings for their home, and that is the place of the home in Child Training. Some parents lay up money, houses, clothes, cars and other possession as an inheritance for their children, but the greatest inheritance you can leave behind for your children like I have being emphasising for the past few weeks is a good christian up bringing, and the best environment to transfer and impart that on your children is the home. The best environment to transmit and practicalise all these truths you have being learning concerning child training is in the home. So do not transfer your responsibility.
No matter how good or expensive a school is or how glorious the Church, there is no better environment than the home. What these other places transmit to your children cannot be compared with what your home transmits to them. The School, Church or Society, are only meant to complement the home, they cannot take the place of the home. Some parents even send their children to boarding schools, for the sole purpose of shying away from their responsibility and more freedom according to them. I pray that the freedom you think you are having today will not become a snare to you tomorrow in Jesus mighty name.
No other place can take the place of the home. When it is time for school let them go, when it is time for Church let them go, but remember that they are coming back home to meet you. Don’t claim to be too busy for your children especially in this fast moving days. Whatever seeds you sow in their lives today will bear fruits tomorrow. Genesis 8:22 says "While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease". It is important for you to note that children spend more time at home more than any other place.
Now, let us consider two main ways by which the home affects the children.
LEADING BY EXAMPLE
Children can be adequately taught by example.
Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)
Children are natural mimics. No matter what you teach them, they learn by example. It is not enough to instruct your children on what to do or what not to do, they must see you do what you are preaching. “An ounce of example is worth a ton of preaching.” Children want to follow the examples of their parents. You can hide your real self from your friends and co-workers in your office, but it’s impossible to do so before your children at home. So, whatever character trait you do not want to see in your children, ensure it has been dealt with in your own life first.
Children are a reflection of their parents. Murmuring, grumbling and complaining parents will definitely have murmuring, grumbling and complaining children. Stingy parents will have stingy children. You know like begets like. Everything reproduces after it’s own kind. Your children will prefer to do just what you do than do what you preach. Simply ensure that what you do and what you say are the same. You should live a life worthy of emulation. The above Scripture instructs you as a parent to be an example in word. I believe this means the words of the mouth. You need to watch your words. Many times, out of anger, you may want to abuse your children, but if you let those words escape out of your lips, you have sown a negative seed. Don’t speak carelessly, not even when you are angry. Let your words be gracious, life transforming and destiny-molding. Jacob, while pronouncing a benediction on his children, declared to Reuben:
Thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power:Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; (Genesis 49:3-4)
It happened exactly like that! 1 Chronicles 5:1 is a fulfillment of those words
DEVELOPING A PATTERN OF GOOD HABITS
Develop a pattern of good habits for your children. Your children need to be taught how to be diligent, not lazy and irresponsible. As a parent, you need to train them up in good habits, with fun, good will and consistency. As children mature into teenagers, it becomes more difficult to develop these habits. Teach them to make their beds, tidy their rooms, bathroom and clean out the dishes after a meal. As they grow teach them how to cook. For them to be motivated its good to reward them with praise. Personal cleanliness such as regular baths, brushing of their teeth, washing of their underwear and others should be carefully supervised until a good habit is formed. They must be taught to be orderly and careful with their toys, clothes and books. Also it is important for you to help your children properly manage their time. They should have regular times for going to bed, studying and doing their home work, as well as time for devotion.
Psychologists says it is important for each child to have his place in the house. His own chair (side where he sits at the dining table), his own place in the car, in the room (if shared with other children), his own space. It makes him feel special and like an individual. Cultivating these habits takes a process of time, so be patient with your children. I am sure God has opened your eyes to something new today I pray that God will grant you the grace to perform in Jesus mighty name. Concerning your children, shame shall not be your portion in Jesus mighty name.
Consider this testimony: For quite some time I was a victim of anger. I shouted at my children like a lioness at the slightest thing they did. I was beginning to loose my dignity as a woman. I met with God’s servant and confessed to her that I had been battling with anger and didn’t know how to get rid of it. She read Colossians 2:14 to me. She counseled me, prayed and anointed me. Also I read her book titled 'The Living Witness'. Now my children rally round me. It is sweet to be a woman, not a lioness.
Today, I will be talking about something that has robbed many from entering into the fullness of God’s blessings for their home, and that is the place of the home in Child Training. Some parents lay up money, houses, clothes, cars and other possession as an inheritance for their children, but the greatest inheritance you can leave behind for your children like I have being emphasising for the past few weeks is a good christian up bringing, and the best environment to transfer and impart that on your children is the home. The best environment to transmit and practicalise all these truths you have being learning concerning child training is in the home. So do not transfer your responsibility.
No matter how good or expensive a school is or how glorious the Church, there is no better environment than the home. What these other places transmit to your children cannot be compared with what your home transmits to them. The School, Church or Society, are only meant to complement the home, they cannot take the place of the home. Some parents even send their children to boarding schools, for the sole purpose of shying away from their responsibility and more freedom according to them. I pray that the freedom you think you are having today will not become a snare to you tomorrow in Jesus mighty name.
No other place can take the place of the home. When it is time for school let them go, when it is time for Church let them go, but remember that they are coming back home to meet you. Don’t claim to be too busy for your children especially in this fast moving days. Whatever seeds you sow in their lives today will bear fruits tomorrow. Genesis 8:22 says "While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease". It is important for you to note that children spend more time at home more than any other place.
Now, let us consider two main ways by which the home affects the children.
LEADING BY EXAMPLE
Children can be adequately taught by example.
Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)
Children are natural mimics. No matter what you teach them, they learn by example. It is not enough to instruct your children on what to do or what not to do, they must see you do what you are preaching. “An ounce of example is worth a ton of preaching.” Children want to follow the examples of their parents. You can hide your real self from your friends and co-workers in your office, but it’s impossible to do so before your children at home. So, whatever character trait you do not want to see in your children, ensure it has been dealt with in your own life first.
Children are a reflection of their parents. Murmuring, grumbling and complaining parents will definitely have murmuring, grumbling and complaining children. Stingy parents will have stingy children. You know like begets like. Everything reproduces after it’s own kind. Your children will prefer to do just what you do than do what you preach. Simply ensure that what you do and what you say are the same. You should live a life worthy of emulation. The above Scripture instructs you as a parent to be an example in word. I believe this means the words of the mouth. You need to watch your words. Many times, out of anger, you may want to abuse your children, but if you let those words escape out of your lips, you have sown a negative seed. Don’t speak carelessly, not even when you are angry. Let your words be gracious, life transforming and destiny-molding. Jacob, while pronouncing a benediction on his children, declared to Reuben:
Thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power:Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; (Genesis 49:3-4)
It happened exactly like that! 1 Chronicles 5:1 is a fulfillment of those words
DEVELOPING A PATTERN OF GOOD HABITS
Develop a pattern of good habits for your children. Your children need to be taught how to be diligent, not lazy and irresponsible. As a parent, you need to train them up in good habits, with fun, good will and consistency. As children mature into teenagers, it becomes more difficult to develop these habits. Teach them to make their beds, tidy their rooms, bathroom and clean out the dishes after a meal. As they grow teach them how to cook. For them to be motivated its good to reward them with praise. Personal cleanliness such as regular baths, brushing of their teeth, washing of their underwear and others should be carefully supervised until a good habit is formed. They must be taught to be orderly and careful with their toys, clothes and books. Also it is important for you to help your children properly manage their time. They should have regular times for going to bed, studying and doing their home work, as well as time for devotion.
Psychologists says it is important for each child to have his place in the house. His own chair (side where he sits at the dining table), his own place in the car, in the room (if shared with other children), his own space. It makes him feel special and like an individual. Cultivating these habits takes a process of time, so be patient with your children. I am sure God has opened your eyes to something new today I pray that God will grant you the grace to perform in Jesus mighty name. Concerning your children, shame shall not be your portion in Jesus mighty name.
Consider this testimony: For quite some time I was a victim of anger. I shouted at my children like a lioness at the slightest thing they did. I was beginning to loose my dignity as a woman. I met with God’s servant and confessed to her that I had been battling with anger and didn’t know how to get rid of it. She read Colossians 2:14 to me. She counseled me, prayed and anointed me. Also I read her book titled 'The Living Witness'. Now my children rally round me. It is sweet to be a woman, not a lioness.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Quotes About Family
Quotes About Family
Family is a bond that usually works basically on mutual understanding. There have been various golden family quotations that have been uttered by several great personalities…
Quotes About Family
Family
Family is a bond that usually works basically on mutual understanding. The best principles are formulated and followed in harmony. A family can be described as an eternal source of moral support, joy, friendship and never ending bliss. The harmony works like a refueling agent and kindles the fire of enthusiasm. Families have been predominant since man settled down from his nomadic life. On the basis of various experiences, many great people have quoted various quotations that are popular all around the world. These quotations remain as a guide to direct mankind on the route of compassion, love and ardor.
A family is a place where love prevails over all insignificant trifles. The family is a place where all the members unite after every tiring and gruesome day. The family is a great source of inspiration and also serves as a role model for the off-springs. There are several definitions that have been offered for defining the world wide phenomenon named family.
Golden Quotes
There have been various golden quotations that have been uttered by several great personalities ranging from the greatest scholar of the ancient scholar Buddha to the great Abraham Lincoln. The explanations for families came pouring from all over the world ranging from the east to the west.
The great Buddha quoted that a family was a place that came into contact with each other and if they love each other the home will be a beautiful garden. But in case these people lose harmony, it resembles a storm that creates havoc in the garden.
The great Soviet leader, Vladimir llyich Lenin quotes that when the family is destroyed, the country perishes.
Elias Boudinot expresses his feeling about family. He says that the family is the source for a good government and the moral character of people are the political character as well.
Barbara Bush quotes that success of a family or a society depends on what happens inside the house or white house.
Robert G Ingersoll states that love is a bow amidst dark clouds. This works like a magic wand and the things that bring changes with sacred passion making the earth a heaven and the family members like gods.
Thomas Paine quotes that all men are equal by birth and can set up a family in preference and be a source of harmony.
Sir Walter Raleigh states that a man who knows to govern his family can rule the government perfectly.
George Bernard Shaw quotes that getting rid of family skeleton is impossible and you can dance to the tune when things are under perfect control.
Lance Armstrong states that getting up in the early dawn and looking in the mirror gives the reflection of the entire family and that is what it matters.
Ashleigh Brilliant believes that a family reunion is an event haunted by ghosts.
There is an ancient Chinese proverb states that hundred men can form only an encampment whereas the presence of a singular women can compromise a family.
The prominent British prime minister who purchased nearly 100,000 shares of the Suez Company from Ismail Pasha of Egypt, describes that one’s loss in his own family can never be compromised by any public victory.
The need for a united family was felt even by the Chinese scholar Confucius. He stated that the power of a nation can be harnessed only from the integration of the family.
There have been other prominent personalities who spoke about families to guide wandering souls and reform them to lead a quiet and contented family life. The fact that human souls still wander about with any assistance is a very pathetic situation and can only be solved when the human conscience accepts and sticks to such quotes.
Family is a bond that usually works basically on mutual understanding. There have been various golden family quotations that have been uttered by several great personalities…
Quotes About Family
Family
Family is a bond that usually works basically on mutual understanding. The best principles are formulated and followed in harmony. A family can be described as an eternal source of moral support, joy, friendship and never ending bliss. The harmony works like a refueling agent and kindles the fire of enthusiasm. Families have been predominant since man settled down from his nomadic life. On the basis of various experiences, many great people have quoted various quotations that are popular all around the world. These quotations remain as a guide to direct mankind on the route of compassion, love and ardor.
A family is a place where love prevails over all insignificant trifles. The family is a place where all the members unite after every tiring and gruesome day. The family is a great source of inspiration and also serves as a role model for the off-springs. There are several definitions that have been offered for defining the world wide phenomenon named family.
Golden Quotes
There have been various golden quotations that have been uttered by several great personalities ranging from the greatest scholar of the ancient scholar Buddha to the great Abraham Lincoln. The explanations for families came pouring from all over the world ranging from the east to the west.
The great Buddha quoted that a family was a place that came into contact with each other and if they love each other the home will be a beautiful garden. But in case these people lose harmony, it resembles a storm that creates havoc in the garden.
The great Soviet leader, Vladimir llyich Lenin quotes that when the family is destroyed, the country perishes.
Elias Boudinot expresses his feeling about family. He says that the family is the source for a good government and the moral character of people are the political character as well.
Barbara Bush quotes that success of a family or a society depends on what happens inside the house or white house.
Robert G Ingersoll states that love is a bow amidst dark clouds. This works like a magic wand and the things that bring changes with sacred passion making the earth a heaven and the family members like gods.
Thomas Paine quotes that all men are equal by birth and can set up a family in preference and be a source of harmony.
Sir Walter Raleigh states that a man who knows to govern his family can rule the government perfectly.
George Bernard Shaw quotes that getting rid of family skeleton is impossible and you can dance to the tune when things are under perfect control.
Lance Armstrong states that getting up in the early dawn and looking in the mirror gives the reflection of the entire family and that is what it matters.
Ashleigh Brilliant believes that a family reunion is an event haunted by ghosts.
There is an ancient Chinese proverb states that hundred men can form only an encampment whereas the presence of a singular women can compromise a family.
The prominent British prime minister who purchased nearly 100,000 shares of the Suez Company from Ismail Pasha of Egypt, describes that one’s loss in his own family can never be compromised by any public victory.
The need for a united family was felt even by the Chinese scholar Confucius. He stated that the power of a nation can be harnessed only from the integration of the family.
There have been other prominent personalities who spoke about families to guide wandering souls and reform them to lead a quiet and contented family life. The fact that human souls still wander about with any assistance is a very pathetic situation and can only be solved when the human conscience accepts and sticks to such quotes.
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