Mother Daughter Conflict: Why is my Mother so Difficult? 3 Insights to Help

Mother Daughter Conflict: Why is my Mother so Difficult? 3 Insights to Help
Do you have a difficult mother? Having a strained relationship with your Mom can eat at your heart. Everyone yearns for a deeply nurturing and supportive bond with the woman who carried them under her heart for 9 months. When reality doesn't measure up to the fairy tale fantasy, you can still be working towards a healthy relationship regardless of your circumstances. Here are 3 Insights to help you move towards inner peace.
The Daughter and Mother relationship is foundational to how well balanced you grow up to be. Your Mom is supposed to love you unconditionally, and support you no matter what. She should be your biggest cheerleader and always, always be there for you when you get a boo-boo. That is her job.

Everyone wants to get along with her Mom. You are biologically programmed to look to her for nurturing. When she isn't capable of providing that nurturing, it upsets a primal balance.

I am not about to tell you how to fix your relationship, I would however, like to offer some insights that may give you some peace and soften your heart.

You Can't Give What You Don't Have

Your Mom learned how to nurture from the line of women before her. If those relationships weren't solid and warm and nurturing, your Mom wouldn't have gotten her needs met, she wouldn't have learned what an intimate, loving Mother/Child bond feels like.

For clues of this, look back to the level of intimacy on your Mom's side of the family. How does she relate to her Mom? How does she talk about her Grandmother?

You Can't Change Your Mom. You Can't Create In Some One Else's Reality

Ok... let's say that for whatever reasons, you have determined that your Mom is not capable of giving you the level nurturing and support you would like. Continuing to set her up to do what she can't do is as helpful as banging your head against the wall. She will continue to fail your tests and you will continue to be disappointed.

Turn your focus instead to having a healthy relationship given your circumstances. Take your focus off your Mom's shortcomings and look for her strengths instead. If that is not realistic given your current state of being, at least work at letting her off your hook.

Time to Put On Your Big Girl Attitude

Once you are a woman you need to take responsibility for your own energy and happiness. Your level of joy is your responsibility. If there is baggage from the past, do what you need to do to sort it out, release what needs to be released, resolve what needs resolving.

Educate yourself about codependent sobriety. Learn what behaviors are healthy and which are not. Stand up and be the healthy nurturing woman you want to be.

Do Not Forward a Dysfunction

It should go without saying that Ii you are a Mom yourself, make sure that you are not passing the legacy on to your child(ren). You are solely responsible for your own integrity.

You can learn to be nurturing, you can learn to love unconditionally.

Be the woman you want to be. You can heal all manner of wounding when you decide that your personal energy and happiness matter more to you than holding grudges, being judgmental and victim thinking, Namaste.
20 Profound and Provocative Journal Prompts
Personal Development Journal Prompts
By Joyce Lee
Published: 10/11/2008